Broken Pencils, Boys, and Dating
So it all started a day this past week when I was cleaning out my classroom to pack up and move all my teacher junk to Florida….
and I found a broken pencil on the floor.
then, another.
and yet, another.
Soon, I had a collection of broken pencils in my left hand and some building frustrations in my right mind. "Why so frustrated?" you may ask.
Because the pencils in my hands weren't just any regular broken pencils, broken by natural causes (i.e. the lead had broken off the tops).
No, it looked like they all had been karate-chopped directly down the middle of them for apparently no reason at all.
Plus, someone had to pay a ridiculous price for all those brand-new pencils. (I did.)
And someone had to clean up those pencils' pieces when they were broken and scattered all over the live-long day. (I did.)
And, besides, shouldn't someone be teaching these kids the value of a dollar?? (Ohhhh, believe me, after all that, I surely did.)
But, why were the pencils so broken? What's the point in that? (pun intended)
I had my theories, but I wanted to know the truth of the matter…. so I went searching. My women's intuition first led (lead?) me into a conversation with some of my boys.
When I asked the dear sweet BOYS in my class about the pencils, all of my suspicions checked out to be right. (Do I know my kiddos or what?! )
The pencils were, in fact, karate-chopped down the middle.
Why?
For apparently.
No.
Reason.
At.
All.
Simply, "just because they could be."
The kids were "bored."
"Other people were doing it."
Aaand (my personal favorite), "IT WAS FUN!"
Ohhh, Boys. (sigh)
They unnecessarily karate-chop pencils when they're young and continue on into adulthood to break hearts unnecessarily when they're older.
Granted, karate-chopping pencils in elementary school doesn't directly correlate with heart-breakers in high school and thereafter. (Or does it??? hmm…)
[And no, neither of these activities are by any means limited to the male population amongst us.]
However, (as absurd as it sounds) it is my belief that everything we do in life has the potential to turn into behavioral patterns, for our ultimate good or for our ultimate bad.
Pencil-breaking and heart-breaking, alike.
People, no matter how old they become, simply don't protect that which they don't value.
For some boys in elementary school, it's pencils.
And for some men, it's dating. Or women, in general.
Just like karate-chopping pencils in elementary school, some people date simply because they can.
They get bored with being "Single for Jesus."
Because "other people are doing it."
Simply because it's fun.
Or because they're still single and much older than they thought they'd be on this side of marriage.
So, is it wrong to date just because you can?
Because you're bored?
Because others do it?
Because it's fun?
Because you ran out of patience?
Because you ran out of patience?
No, not necessarily.
If you couldn't date, you wouldn't…(simple. as. that.)
And if dating weren't fun, you wouldn't want to date anyway...
And if other people weren't dating, it'd be a little weird to date yourself...
So, perhaps, some of those reasons alone aren't "bad."
But far beyond every simplistic reason lies a multi-faceted intention.
And that's where the heart of the dating issue steps up to take a swing at home plate.
Is your intention in dating to serve the person you're with?
To add grace and value to who they are?
To encourage them in their walk with Christ?
To sacrifice who you are for the sake of giving life to them?
It's a tall order, for sure.
But isn't that exactly what Christ did for the church?
And isn't that what dating should be - a setting-of-the-stage for marriage and a representation of Christ's love relationship with the church?
With all said, to all the single guys (and girls!) out there, remember:
Someone had to pay a ridiculous price for the person you're dating, have dated, going to date, etc.. (God did.)
And someone has to clean up the pieces when the "fun" of dating ends.
Today, whether you are young and single or old and married (or any variation of the two), ask yourself what it is you value in life, dating, a marriage partner, etc.
Then, ask yourself if you're doing all you can to protect the people, God-given standards, and things that you value the most.
Don't settle for something (or someone) subpar just because it's here-and-now.
Wait for what requires sacrifice, patience, and prayer.
And, if you find yourself bored or confused or frustrated with your season of singleness, come to my classroom.
I'm sure I'll have plenty more karate-chopped pencils to clean up by Friday.
