Why Skylar Dixon is my Hero

Why Skylar Dixon is my Hero

I’m not a big follower of the show American Idol, but I have watched my fair share of episodes/seasons in a hit-or-miss fashion. I especially watched episodes consistently when Skylar Dixon’s brother, Colton Dixon, was on the show. He was refreshingly different to watch. He had true talent and a knack for connecting to his audiences. It also helped that he was a Christian and an all-out good-looking guy. Then, I soon found out he was born in the 1990’s, and I felt creepy for watching the show like I once did. So the American Idol fan train stopped there for me on that very same day.

Though I no longer followed the show, I still very much appreciate and enjoy hearing Colton’s song, You Are, on Christian radio on my way to work. It helps me put things in perspective. Check it out if you get a chance:

Colton Dixon’s “You Are”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YM8hxE-j4T8

Though it’s pretty much the same ole’, same ole’ rig-a-ma-role every season, it’s sometimes interesting just to get a little taste of the wide range of talent (and non-talent) that prances across the various stages of the show. What’s more exciting than the talent (to me) is the back-stories that are shared along the way. It truly gives a glimpse of who the person is, who/what has influenced them, and what ultimately has encouraged and pushed them onto this part of their lives. Important stuff, but after a while, it all blends together and seems bland. It’s the same old, same old. Some are chosen and show us uncontrollable amounts of cheer. Some are not and give way to uncontrollable tears. I suppose you and I would act exactly the same way, should our hopes and dreams rise or fall right in front of our faces in a moment’s notice.

Enter Skylar Dixon. This is her third time competing for American Idol. You read that right. Not a first-time hopeful. Not second-time “Let’s-try-this-again-shall-we?” But a repeat offender. A third time’s-a-charm type mindset. A “I am not going to give up on this” attitude. A resolve that transcends her years. And a determination that makes her all-the-more “idol” worthy, in my mind.

I thought at first that I was inspired by Skylar because the girl simply doesn’t take no for an answer. (I can tend to be pretty stubborn about things sometimes, so I can totally relate.)

She’s courageous. She’s confident. She’s consistent.

However, as I began to think through the situation a little more clearly, I realized that the exact opposite is true.

I don’t admire Skylar because she doesn’t take no for an answer.

I admire her because she knows exactly how it feels to take no for an answer.

And she doesn’t let that stop her.

Skylar’s human just like the rest of us, so I’m sure she has her own pocketful of fears and doubts and struggles.

But I can tell you one thing I know she’s NOT afraid of…

she’s not afraid of failing.

She’s afraid of not succeeding.

As a result, she’s going to do anything she can to make sure that doesn’t happen.

And that is exactly why Skylar Dixon is my hero.

With all said, let me ask you this: Who is your hero? What makes them your hero? What is the one thing in your life that makes you want to stop at nothing until its achieved?

The Trouble with Dreaming

The trouble with dreaming is that all dreams come with a price tag.

This thought came to me a couple weeks ago when my family and I visited a new restaurant “hot spot” here in Jacksonville (Maple Street Biscuit Company in San Marco to be exact).  At this particular best-biscuit-breakfast-ever-location, one of their trademarks (or quirks?) is to ask each customer, “What is your dream vacation destination?” upon placing an order. When your order is ready, instead of calling out your family’s name (boring!), they call out the dream vacation spot in its place.

The question will catch you off-guard for sure, but, all in all, it’s fun.

It’s cutesy, even.

It’s surprisingly original.

It’s refreshingly unique.

It also reveals something about people.

It reveals….

Wait for it….

            Where they would rather be.

             Where their mind wanders to.

              Where they dream of going. Plain and simple, right?

Right, well, when I went there with my family, we teased my dad because he said “Australia” and apparently the entire restaurant should’ve just shut down and boarded planes to Australia that day because there were seriously about 6 other families/orders under the same vacation destination. It got tricky. Not only did we tease dad about that, but we also questioned him about the generality of his answer. It went something like this, “Seriously, dad? A whole continent? Couldn’t narrow it down a bit??”

As we were teasing him, I think one of the people in line must have overheard our conversation because you’ll never believe what happened next. I know you won’t because I was there, and I couldn’t even believe it. As we were waiting on our Australia order #7 to be ready, one of the workers called out, “Tallahassee!”

My exact thoughts: “Are they serious right now?!?”

My exact words that followed: “Are they serious right now?!?”

Out of all the places in the world one could dare to “dream vacation” to….. Tallahassee, Florida? That had to be some sort of joke. That’s like someone offering to take you to Disney World, and you saying, “No thanks, I think I’ll play with the Disney character stuffed animals in the Wal-mart toy section instead.” Seriously, WHO WOULD DO THAT?!? haha…

But seriously, who would do that?

A person with a small amount of time to think through the questions? Possibly.

A person with a small checkbook? Perhaps.

A person with small dreams? Bingo!

On that day, waiting for the yummy breakfast, my heart got sad for the man who blissfully picked up his food after the owner said, “Tallahassee!” Not necessarily because he was headed to Tallahassee in his mind (or was it?), but because his response represented something far more saddening in my mind.

That day, that man, and that “dream” vacation selection all combined to lead me to these two messy-yet-truthful thoughts:

1. Some “dreams” will cost you far too little (and far too much, all at the same time).

These are, in all actuality, our small, attainable excuses for “dreams.”

These are the ones we settle upon after we dismiss the truest, deepest desires of our hearts and minds and God-given abilities.

They’re attainable by any measure you choose to measure with, but they may get you “stuck” in Tallahassee mode, so-to-speak, when you could have the whole world at your fingertips

2. Some will cost you far too much.

They will pain you to chase after them.

They are BIG dreams.

The ones we have when we are awake.

The ones that get inside (or perhaps are pre-knit inside?) the very fabric of our hearts, souls, and dear sweet personalities.

These are the dreams that truly matter. For, they make us feel most like ourselves and they free us to be the most alive we’ve ever felt. (Ever been there and felt that and got a t-shirt to prove it?)

These dreams must ALWAYS be laid on the altar of Sovereignty and accomplished in His timing, His way, and His ultimate plan.

We really have very limited control of how these kind of dreams turn out, but they simply can’t be ignored, either.

These kind of dreams will, most likely, change your everything.

But they will cost you.

Far.

Too.

Much.

They will pain you to chase after them. But then again, they will pain you more if you don’t.

And that’s the trouble with dreaming.

One kind wrecks you, pains you, costs you, and changes you.

The other sends you to Tallahassee.

The First Chapter

I love it when I learn new things! It's like a cliche bouquet of 12 long-stemmed red roses kind of love, and a I-have-a-date-on-a-Friday-night type of excitement. As a teacher who has seemingly taught the "same old things" in fourth grade for almost 5 years now, yeah, it's truly THAT fun and exciting to learn new things.

As you've probably already guessed, such a moment happened to me today - right in the middle of teaching my fourth grade kiddos a reading lesson.

The excitement of what I'm about to tell you may not hit you like a ton of bricks like it did with me (just ask my students... I was SO excited about this today....), but I do hope that it does make you at least stop and think. Specifically, think about God. His provision. His goodness. His sovereignty. And His insight to and precision in planning out the exact details of your everyday life.

Let me set the stage for you.....here's how it all started out: My class is currently reading through C. S. Lewis' 2nd book in the Narnia series titled, "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe."

To prepare for it, a few nights ago, I watched the movie with my dad. A few days ago, my kiddos and I introduced the book by discussing/sketching out the main characters in the book/movie. In short, in both the movie and the book, we highlighted the very sad fact that the White Witch made it always winter and never Christmas. (Pure craziness, right?!)

In the movie, (most of us know it quite well) the youngest of four, Lucy, finds her way to the fanciful world of Narnia and meets a Faun-friend named Mr. Tumnus. When you meet Mr. Tumnus, (if you're anything like me) you take note of some things: (in no particular order)

One, he is wearing a red scarf. Red is oftentimes a symbol or color of redemption, indicating something bad is going to happen. Then, something extraordinary is going to happen. Then, someone is going to be redeemed. The story is going to soon be over (or else, is it just beginning?), and you will not be the same person for watching it. Good times happen when you see a symbolic color of red in a story/movie.

Two, he is half-man, half-goat. Kinda odd. But he's in Narnia. No rules of "normalcy" apply here. Moving on...

Three, he is afraid of Lucy, the most innocent of creatures. Again, half-man. Looks like one. Doesn't have the courage it requires to truly be one.

Four, he is carrying an umbrella. In the snow. Different approach, indeed. Trendsetter, that Mr. Tumnus, he is.

Five, he is freezing. He probably does not have a mom, or else she was remiss in setting out his school clothes because he's not wearing a coat on this particular day. In fact, he's not even wearing a shirt. Yikes! Yet, it's snow-storming outside. Poor form, Mr. Tumnus. Poor form.

Six, (something I honestly never even thought twice about until today) he's carrying boxes or some type of packages when he meets Lucy.

Keep all of those thoughts (especially the last one) in your mind as we trail over to the book and the events of my day in class....

In the first chapter of the book, Mr. Tumnus' packages are described as "Christmas packages."

THERE IT IS.
(Did you miss it? If so, go back and read that statement again...)

It may not have sunk in yet.... go re-read it again. Here, I'll even retype it for you:
"In the first chapter of the book, Mr. Tumnus' packages are described as 'Christmas packages.'"

I don't know about you, buuuut.....when I read that today, it was a definitely LIGHT BULB MOMENT for me. SUDDENLY, EVERYTHING MADE SENSE.

To further explain, let me pose the question to you that I posed to my students today.... If Narnia is a land controlled/ruled by the White Witch, who makes it always winter and NEVER Christmas....... seriously, there wasn't a Christmas there in like 100+ years...

-THEN-

WHY IN THE WORLD was Mr. Tumnus carrying Christmas packages in the beginning of the story when he first meets Lucy?!?!

Anyone?

Anyone?

Yes, yes. I see that hand. I'll take you over there. (If you'll allow me to, I'll insert some answers my kiddos gave me in class today...)

Student: "Because Mr. Tumnus liked Christmas time anyway."
My response: "So he went against the laws of Narnia and went against the wicked White Witch just because he liked doing things his own way? I think Mr. Tumnus was too afraid to do something like that."

Student: "Because he knew Aslan was on the move, and things were about to change."
My response: "We know that, but did he? Hmm..."

Student: (shoulders shrug)

........Silence.......

Me: "Let's pause on the question for a second and look at what the author did here. He used a literary technique called 'foreshadowing.' Everyone say it with me 'foreshadowing.' Right, and foreshadowing is when an author gives us a hint of something that is to come. Here, the author is giving us a hint of something that is to come. We may know why Mr. Tumnus may seem to be carrying Christmas presents because we've read the book before, seen the movie before, and we know the ending. But, getting back to the question, why do you think Mr. Tumnus was carrying the Christmas presents? He didn't know the ending like we do...."

...............long.............semi-awkward............stares...........all eyes shift to ground............silence.............

Me: "Hope. He was carrying the packages because he had hope that he could one day use them. He didn't know the outcome, but he had faith. He knew he was prepared for the outcome, should it indeed turn out to his favor."

With all said, that's what I learned today.
Foreshadowing. Preparation. Hope.

They're more than just elements of a kid's story.
They're elements of our lives.

I don't know about you, but I have several current situations in my life that I don't know at all what their final outcomes look like.

Some situations may even look or currently feel like year-round winter with no chance of Christmas.

But can I encourage you with this thought?

Pick up your Christmas packages again.

Don't give up.

Continue to hope.

Today is not the end.

It's the first chapter.

Some things may not make sense now.

That's okay. They're not supposed to.

They're simply foreshadowing things to come.

Stick with the story and keep reading.

Whether you realize it at this point or not, Aslan is already on the move.

Everything Has Changed.

I'm not one to make New Year's resolutions... and it's not because I wouldn't keep them. In fact, if I made New Year's resolutions, I'd probably keep them too well because I'd sticky note the mess out of everything to ensure I didn't forget or fail to follow through. But, for some reason, I just never made New Year's resolutions. (Perhaps, my all-consuming childhood fear of fireworks on New Year's Eve kept me too preoccupied to focus on resolution-making. Who knows.)

Although I don't participate in the New Year's resolution-making-madness, I do know quite well how the process goes down. In making a New Year's resolution, one must first look back to the previous year and acknowledge something they want to improve on, something they never want to repeat again, etc.  In looking back to 2012, I realize that everything in my life has changed. Seriously. Everything. Try me. Even today, I learned to accept a change my heart wasn't quite prepared for. Funny how life sometimes hands you mandatory invitations to parties you'd rather not attend, and it requires not only your attendance, but also participation in a dance that makes you appear foolish to those around you.

Since I'm acknowledging something that was prevalent in my life in 2012 (change), my next step is to identify something I can improve on in 2013.... and oddly enough, at the beginning of this new year of 2013, I'm finding comfort and my New Year's resolution in a Taylor Swift song.  I know it's a love song.... but, what if, we all closed our eyes, listened, and imagined it was a worship song from our hearts to God's? That's what I did tonight. Several times. Ok, I must embarrassingly confess, the song's been on repeat on my headphones for about 2 hours now, and tears haven't stopped pouring down my face. God's just currently gotten that much of my attention.

Just as the chorus of the song says, "I just want to know you better. Know you better. Know you better now. I just want to know you better. Know you better. Know you better now. I just want to know you better. Know you better. Know you better now. I just want to know you. Know you. Know you.... All I know is a simple name, and everything has changed.... All I know is since yesterday, everything has changed."

In my life in 2012, everything has changed.


And now in 2013, I just want to know Him better. Know Him better. Know Him better now. I just want to know Him. Know Him. Know Him.


Taylor Swift's "Everything Has Changed"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_0yjZEUbdg

2012: The Trouble with Transitions

      In 2012, I reckoned with the fact that life is riddled with transitions. And, as I quickly learned, transitions are sometimes laced with troubles. And one of the main troubles with transition is this - it changes you. This year, it changed me. Though I wouldn't want to repeat 2012 and all the transition and change it brought into my life, I would be foolish to replace, dismiss, erase, or ignore it. God strategically used every-little-bit of 2012 to grow me into the woman that I am today and still learning how to be for days, weeks, months, and years to come (Lord willing).

      The following is part of a Christmas update/letter I wrote and mailed to a dear friend-of-the-past that God so graciously brought back into my life this past year. I felt it summed up the changes, challenges, and victories in 2012 in my life and the life of my family quite well. Hope you enjoy reading my words and hearing my thoughts...          

           I don’t know about you and yours, but this year has sure brought some changes to me and my family! No truer statement could be made than the fact that 2012 held some of the highest of the highs and lowest of the lows.

On a personal note, in February, my twin nephews, Abel and Dimitri, were born. And yes, they’re pretty much the light of my life. (Note: They’re not the light of my soul. Because Jesus definitely is. ) Everything about them [i.e. the way they both crawl so awkwardly and crookedly, the way Dimitri waves bye-bye and eats his avacados like they’re going out of style, the way Abel loves to stick out his tongue in every picture and rushes to ME when there is a room full of people, etc.] excites me for the possibility of motherhood one day.  (sigh)

On the professional front, in February-March, I went through a super strenuous process {6 weeks of essays, surveys, phone interviews (one of which I conducted whilst having the stomach flu, FYI), in-person interviews, and a lesson taught to a group of the rudest 6^th grade inner-city students I’ve ever encountered in my life} to teach in a world-changing charter school program called KIPP in Jacksonville, Florida. As you may already recall, it’s always been a dream of mine to teach inner-city kids, love the mess out of them, and turn their butts around for the betterment of themselves and society. (Haha, but it’s true!) After going through nearly the entire process, something in me snapped, I realized God was not in the outcome I had figured out for myself. The floodgates of disappointment (and my tears ducts) opened wide. I had no clue what God was doing, but I knew for sure what He wasn’t doing. He wasn’t allowing me to teach at KIPP, and I didn’t know why.

Still somewhat dazed and confused about the outcome of the KIPP situation, I quit my job at Liberty Christian Academy in Lynchburg, Virginia in June. I have no other way to describe it other than the fact that I felt God was longing for me to show Him I trusted Him. Even when things didn’t go my way. ESPECIALLY when things didn’t go my way. So I did. I left a school I loved, a roommate I loved, many friends that I loved, and a church I was beginning to feel truly connected with, and moved back to Jacksonville to live with my parents. Wait for it…… with no clue as to what job I may/may not have there. Thankfully, God is precise in the orchestration of the details-of-my-life department. The day I moved back to Jacksonville, I had an interview at a school in Jacksonville. Which, to make a long story of God’s faithfulness and love to me short, is the school where I am now teaching seven of the most precious, brilliant, hilarious fourth graders. Our class size may be small, but we fill up the classroom with personality. :)

Though things were starting to shape up and fall into “place” in Jacksonville, this summer was perhaps one of the lowest times in my life. The transition I was facing in reality looked much different than the one I had imagined in my mind. And some poor decision-making on my part led my heart further away from God’s heart for me in that I allowed a terrible attitude of discontentment and what physically felt like the weight of depression to overrule my perspective. On everything.

Come September, my oldest brother Will got married to Rene Schleusener. Their wedding was small and simple and oh-so-sincere. I remember the night before the wedding, the entire wedding party went out for the rehearsal dinner. At the end of the dinner, people began to spontaneously get up one-by-one and speak of how Will, Rene, or the both of them together had encouraged them, inspired them, and truly loved them at their points of life in the way that Christ does. My words fail to describe it justly now, but I know that night changed something in me. The sincerity and honesty in each of their friend’s voices touched me and made me evaluate who those “life-long” friends in my life were… and it made me miss Lynchburg and the people I loved and left there even more.

      In November, I did what every American, Christian, human, etc. does. I started making mental lists of all the things I am (and should be) thankful for. Something about being intentionally thankful seems to shift the perspective of your mind, and sometimes, it can even shift the entire direction of your life. (That sounds dramatic, doesn’t it? haha… But it’s kind of true, if you think about it. Think about it.) In November, I also began to read my Bible more and more and simple things began to pop out at me like…. I Thes. 5:18-20 “Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” Sounds simple, but this little verse was pretty much revolutionary for me… because it showed me that God’s will wasn’t in Lynchburg or any geographical place, it wasn’t in a relationship or lack of relationship, it wasn’t in a job, it wasn’t in a house that wasn’t my parent’s place, etc. It was in three simple commands. 1. Rejoicing evermore. 2. Praying without ceasing. 3. And giving thanks in everything.  (It never ceases to amaze me how I complicate things by focusing on the outward distracters, while God is always contemplating the condition of my heart.) God also did a lot of overhaul in my heart and mind and life during this time/month as well, but that story will have to be shared at another place and time...

      Now that it’s December, I wanted to share just a few things with you about Christmas – and the true reason for the season….

I know people often say that Christmas is all about giving. And while that sounds all sweet and wholesome and Hallmark-card-worthy, I feel as though I must honestly disagree. When we focus on giving, we’re truly focusing on what we can provide to others. And last time I checked, Christmas isn’t really about that at all. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Christmas is about what has been provided for us. Christmas isn’t so much all about giving as much as it’s about getting. Specifically, it’s about getting what we absolutely don’t deserve.

This Christmas, I’m reminded of the first Christmas. You know, the one where the entire world got something. That we absolutely didn’t deserve.  (psst… His name is Jesus, Christ the Lord, and He came to save us from our sins.)  I don’t deserve it, but God in His SOVEREIGNTY has graciously seen to it that it’s been given to me. I get something I don’t deserve (i.e. salvation)…and my heart is healed and my hope is restored throughout the process knowing God more and more each day. I simply can’t thank Him enough.

Now that it’s getting close to the end of the year, I must end with these thoughts: I’m unsure what all God has planned and in store for me in 2013; but based on the events of 2012 in my own life, I know I can readily say I trust Him.

He’s faithful.

He’s good.

He’s SOVEREIGN.

He does things differently than we would ever be able to think or imagine.

No, His timing doesn’t often sync with ours.

But, that’s good because His plans far outweigh and outlast ours.

For 2013, just remember: He loves us too much to not give us everything we exactly need when we exactly need it.

                                         

<3 Rosemary  

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      After writing that letter and seeing some other friends and my little sister posting blogs and notes about what they learned in 2012, I've decided to add a little to my "Christmas update/letter" and share that with you here as well.... 

      The link below will take you to a voice memo I recorded while on a road trip from Raleigh to Jacksonville early in the morning on January 1, 2013. When I recorded it, I had no intention of sharing it in its raw form. However, as I tried to take the message and put it into written words, it lost some of its authenticity. 

       If I could sum up what 2012 has taught me into two main ideas, it would be this:
             1. Be more generous with my giving (supply).
             2. Be more cautious about what I demand (take). 

       As you listen, please excuse the emotionality in the beginning. I was getting over a sickness and was honestly quite exhausted. Hopefully, you'll spare the time to listen to all 8 minutes of it.... and through listening, I pray you'll hear my heart and be encouraged, amazed, and downright awed by God and the work that only He could've done in my life this year.

p.s. In the story about my birthday, I was referring to a piece of birthday cake... don't think I made that part clear on the sound clip.