People Pleasing Gone Wild

People Pleasing Gone Wild

It's true. Most of the time, I'm what you might label a "people pleaser." I like people to be happy with me, and I struggle when people aren't. 

Looking back over my life (all 26 years of it), I've noticed that some key decisions I've made were to please people that were instrumental in my life at that time, while other decisions I've made have been based on what I thought the right thing to do was. Because of that, I ended up having to live through various interpersonal issues that arose as a result of people being not being splendidly happy with me. (Not exactly a walk in the park with a snow cone on the fourth of July.)

Recently and not-so-recently over the last three years or so, I have wrestled with the idea to move back to Jacksonville or to stay in Lynchburg and teach. The last couple of years, my mind was pre-occupied with this minor hobby of mine called GRAD SCHOOL. But this year, now that grad school is done, that decision has been magnified in my heart and mind. I've felt like I've had no "unbiased" person to talk to concerning the situation. Naturally, my Lynchburg friends and coworkers want me to stay here. Even more so naturally, my family and friends in Jacksonville want me to move back home. Needless to say, I've sincerely struggled this year. I've prayed. I've cried. And honestly, I've lived a large portion of my school year this year confused. 

However, last night, I picked up a book that I've been reading for the last couple of months on contentment, a condition of the heart. In the back of this book, there is a 30-day devotional to help readers apply what they've read throughout the book to their everyday lives. (Pause. Here's a side note to my Daddy: Dad, if you're reading this, I think that would be a great idea for your next book on Redemption…. or for my first book. :) ) In that book, I read the verse for Day 21, which is this I Corinthians 14:33, "God is not a God of confusion but of peace."

And it went on to say this:

"When the situation is wrong and you are wrong, God says NO.

When the situation is right and you are wrong, God says GROW.

When the situation is wrong and you are right, God says SLOW.

When the situation is right and you are right, God says GO."

It also went on to say things that I  already readily know with my mind, but oftentimes fail to recognize with my heart….. and that's this thought: God longs to give us peace. He loves us so much that He longs to give us good things. However, in order to have open hands to receive what God wants to give us, we must let go of the things that entangle our hearts, confuse or minds, and ultimately control our future. For me, that's people pleasing. 

It's taken me nearly 27 years to do this, but I've finally come to the conclusion that I can't possibly please everyone. As long as I try to, I will be in a constant state of confusion and unrest. At the end of my life, I'm only going to stand before an audience of One. His thoughts towards me are what matters most. His thoughts towards me are, really, the only ones that end up mattering.

With all said, I ask that you pray for me this week, as I will be making some difficult decisions and truly striving to please God, and God alone, in all I do.

The Problem With Us

The Problem With Us

I'll be the first to admit that I have an overactive imagination. I tend to over-symbolize the everyday happenings of life and oftentimes make them out to be far-reaching spiritual lessons. When, in reality, to everyone else, they're just everyday happenings of life.

Allow me to explain.

Take today for instance. My kids (students) this year have helped me design this little game that enables them to learn vast portions of their Bible memory verses with relative ease. Not to mention they have FUN whilst doing it. "How exactly is this accomplished?" you may (or may not) be asking.

Well, it's simple. I either handwrite or type the verses, word for word, on the dry erase board or the SmartBoard. We all say the verses together as a class, then students come up - a handful at a time - and begin erasing off words of their choice. Then, we pause and recite the verse together again. We proceed through this same routine until everyone in the class has gotten their fair share at the board. The goal is to be able to say the verse in full and with 100% accuracy - even after all of the words have been erased off of the board. As if that isn't excitement enough…. The name of the game is called…. wait for it….. " WipeOut ! "

Haha. Ok. Ok. So, I admit. This game is a little bit lame. The kids do enjoy it, however… (they helped make it up!) Though it lacks any semblance of creativity, it does serve the purpose of helping the students learn their Bible verses and commit them to memory throughout the week, instead of just on Friday-test-day.

Today, though, this game proved to serve more than just the sole purpose it was designed for - to help kids memorize their Bible verses for Friday quizzes. In fact, today, God used this game to teach me a little about life. How so?

I'm glad you inquired.

Today's verse-up-for-bids was Psalm 23:1-4.

According to Bible Gateway's NASB version, it reads as follows:

A Psalm of David.

verse 1 The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not want. 

verse 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters. 

verse 3 He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

verse 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

After several rounds of our very uneventful WipeOut! game, guess what was left?

A Psalm of David.

verse 1 my, I  

verse 2 me; me 

verse 3 my; me

verse 4 I, I me; me

As we were finishing up the game, I had a student laugh and call out, "It looks like we have a problem erasing the 'me, me, me's'."

I hope that statement struck you in the same way it struck me. Why? Because its truth reaches deeper than just a silly, non-imaginative WipeOut Bible Verse Study Game. It hits the reality of where each of us lives, on a regular, daily basis. 

I don't know about you, but I surely don't believe in coincidences. I feel God strategically allowed that to happen in my classroom today to teach me a lesson.

The problem with us - rather, the problem with me - is simply this: We - rather, I - have a problem erasing the me, me, me's.

With the next day that you're given, make it your goal to erase yourself. 

Instead of focusing on you, your rights, your reputation, how people perceive you, etc….let things be done for other's benefit and God's ultimate glory. At the end of the day, nothing is about you anyway. The sun doesn't rise and set on your command. The oceans move back and forth without your permission. And last time I checked, the planets will still maintain order without you for them to revolve around. So, humbly recognize that, get over it, and live beyond it.

Our world would be a much better (and far-less-broken) place if more people simply chose to give God the glory due to His name, put others before ourselves, and deliberately chose to erase the ME, ME, ME's.