Timing is Everything.

Timing is Everything. (Christmas Season 2012)

For many things in this life, timing is absolutely everything.

Take this morning, for example:

Mom and my sister Rosie decided (against my advice-giving) to go to WalMart. Not just any WalMart though. The one on Normandy Blvd on the Westside of Jax.

Pretty sketchy. and risky, if you ask me.

Questionable in the daytime.

Not-an-option past sundown.

Not even ten minutes into their trip, Rosie texted me to say she overheard some man, who happened to track down a stranger-woman he previously saw at a yard sale, ask if he could buy some artwork off of the woman.

The woman's response? "No. I don't even know who you are."

The man's response? "Yeah, but I remember you. You bought the painting I wanted at that yard sale!"

I love that story. Rosie and I laughed for a while about it.

But then, this thought came to mind:

Timing. Is. Everything.

And isn't that the truth?

If that guy had been at the yard sale earlier…

If the lady in Walmart had only gotten through the line and out of the store earlier…

If my sister wasn't off work and eaves-dropping in WalMart today…

Where would the painting be?

Would the man still have reason to hope?
Would the woman be stalked for the rest of her life until the painting was handed over??

Would this second-hand story still be told? 

I don't know the answers to the "what if's" and couldda, shouldda, wouldda's of that story. much less do I know the answers to the "what if's" and couldda, shouldda, wouldda's of life.

But I do know this to be true.

Timing is everything. Every part of your life is planned with precision and vast amounts of behind-the-scenes detail, whether you like it, agree with it, complain about it, try to control it, avoid it, tamper with it, accept it, or not.

With that said and the rest of the day's shopping experiences fresh in my mind, a few thoughts surface:

1. Stop fighting over the yard sale paintings of yesterday. (Deal with the disappointments of your past, yes. But then, let. it. go. already.)

2. This Christmas season, simply enjoy today.

"Today is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad IN IT."

3. If you find yourself shopping in Kohl's anytime soon, walk past the Valentine's and St. Patrick's day displays with ease, and don't buy anything from them. It's not time for that yet. Everyone knows it. Someone needs to tell Kohl's to pipe down. (Don't rush into your future...)

the
timing
is
everything.
:)

A Work in Progress

This note is coming straight from one work in progress (me) to another (you).

I don't know about you and your mom, but my mom likes to pop impromptu life lessons upon me unawares - like in the car ride to the credit union today. 

Today's words of advice? the 11th commandment.

"Be ye content."

Although, if you know my mom, this is pretty funny, the subject of contentment itself really isn't all that hilarious. It's sobering. and sometimes even painful.

What is contentment?

I'm glad you asked. I actually googled the definition of it and got a slew of synonyms…. Ready?

Contentment. 

Satisfaction. 

Joy. 

Happiness. 

Ease of mind.

Peace.

Yup, that's (in a nutshell) what contentment is.

Being satisfied or conTENT with the CONtents of your life. (notice the pronunciation difference #grammargeek)

Everyone wants that.

Some seemingly "attain" it at certain seasons of their lives.

Others outwardly "obtain" it through one venue or attainment or other.

But few perpetuate it as an ongoing basis or a way of life.

Why is that?

What does it take to be content? To be satisfied? To have ease of mind, happiness of heart, and (to quote an oldie-but-goodie Sunday school song from my childhood) have "the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart (where?) down in my heart to stay"….?

Contentment doesn't come with a job. People who don't have one, want one. People who have one, want to get out of the one they have or exchange it up for another "better" one.

It's not wrapped around a relationship. As I've found over the years, miserable single people translate into miserable married people. And miserably married people sometimes sadly translate into miserable divorced people. And on and on it goes.

It's not a geographical location. An amount of money. The right style of clothing. Or any other substitute that some people use to numb the stark reality of their lives.

It's a choice. A matter of the mind. A decision of the heart. A steadfast fixation on the Creator of your heart and mind.

As my mom used to say when I was growing up, "You can get glad in the same pants you just got mad in." And that's true. Nothing outwardly needs to change for contentment to occur. Simply because this is true: it happens in your heart. your mind. your will. It's who you are (or are not) at the core.

Stop looking around you, putting your life on hold, or waiting for something or someone to make you content. 

This Christmas season, take inventory of yourself and ownership of your heart's attitude. 

You are the only one responsible for your level of contentment.

If it's not up to par today, perhaps, you should start with thanking God for Who He is. Not to mention thanking Him, one by one, for all the things He continually does on your behalf. 

When He says, "No."

The Israelites crack me up.

Actually, no they don't.

They sadden me. a lot.

They're just so very dumb that it borderline annoys me.

If the Old Testament were split into tracks instead of chapters, it would pretty much go like this:

1. God provides.

2. Israelites screw up.

3. God provides more.

4. Israelites screw up more.

5. God continues to provide exactly what the Israelites need.

6. Israelites complain that the provision of God isn't what they wanted.

7. God provides exactly what the Israelites wanted.

8. The Israelites still choose to be miserable. with a capital M.

I mean, seriously, what's up with that?!

I'm currently going through a Bible study surrounding the Israelites and all lesser things and gods they sought after apart from (and in place of) God Himself. No wonder they were so miserable, right?

Well, today, I stumbled upon a verse that not only caught my eye, but it also caught all of my heart's attention.

It's in Psalm 106:15, and it reads like this: "He gave them their request, but sent leanness into their soul." In short, the Israelites wanted what they wanted SO VERY BADLY that they exchanged the eternal, important things for the temporary, unimportant (or lesser) things.

You know what upsets me the most about the story of the Israelites? 

It hits too close to home. I could very easily remix the tracks above, put my name in place of the Israelites, and describe my life story. And, if you're honest, maybe (?) you could too.

All being said...

Know when to ask God for things.

Grow to know when to stop asking God for something.

Realize that "no" is a valid answer for God to give to your prayers.

Don't make Him, like Psalms says, give you your request at the exchange of the health of your soul.

Love Him enough to trustingly ask Him for things.

Yet, trust Him enough when He lovingly answers you "no."

Fish Bowl Christianity

Fish Bowl Christianity

Unlike many people, I never had a "family pet" as I was growing up.

Never, ever.

My mom was (and very-much-so still is) allergic to everything under the sun.

Aaaand I had more siblings than your average American family, but without quite reaching Dugger-family-status. (or coming anywhere even close, whew!… side note: could you even imagine?!)

These factors, added in with the fact that my parents spent every extra dime they had on private education for all five of us kids, really just weren't all-that-conducive to including a family pet of any sort.

But don't feel sorry for me. I don't feel like I was jipped or anything. I love my family, and the memories I can still recall from my childhood are nothing short of classic. Pet or no pet.

When I "grew up" and moved to Lynchburg about four years ago, I tossed around the idea of getting a pet. You know, just to see what it would be like. Nothing huge or fancy or gross or high-maintenance. (Ok, so that ended up being nothing at all. hah.) 

But, in passing, I thought about getting a goldfish. 

Much like an overzealous girlfriend or an overly bored female of any age would do, I picked out names long before reality required me to do so. That's right. I picked out a name for my not-in-reality goldfish. 

Ready for this? His name would be….. Soweto. 

The reasoning behind this name was two-fold. One, it's the name of a town in Africa that I fervently prayed over for quite some time. (Man, I need to get back to doing that.) 

And two, if you say it slowly, it makes for one cheesy joke "So….Wet….Oh." Get it? For a goldfish? (No, I'm not even lying; but man oh man, know I wish I were. #blushing #embarrassed) Maybe one day that whole Soweto thing will actually happen. Or maybe not. I'm cool with it either way.

All of those memories came to my mind just this past weekend as I was traveling back from Jacksonville, FL ("home-home") to Lynchburg, VA ("home") because of a conversation I had with an old friend. 

I take that back. It wasn't so much the whole conversation as it was just one simple phrase. In the midst of our conversation-over-Cracker-Barrell-yumminess, she struck me with a phrase so honest yet so painful that it couldn't be ignored. She said this.

"Rosemary, I feel like God's abandoned me."

And then, she proceeded to tell me a certain desire she's prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed over and how God has yet to fulfill it in her life. She traversed through the ups and downs of where she's been in life with God concerning it. (Perhaps you could relate?)

The sequence of her prayers went something like this:

"God, do You hear me?"

"God, if You hear me, why aren't you giving me (fill-in-the-blank)?"

"God, are You angry at me?"

"God, I just don't understand."

"God, I'm done. Take my desire for (fill-in-the-blank) away."

"God, why am I still desiring (fill-in-the-blank) if it's not Your will?"

"God, are You still there?"

"God, do You even care?"

Her follow-through to this sequence of prayers were some stories of her college friends who already had what she was desiring and begging and praying-her-heart-out-to-God-about. She was frustrated. Sad. Hopeless. Broken. Jealous. Bitter. In utter ruins.

What do you say to someone who's hopped off the train leading to hope? To one who feels forgotten? To one who's absolutely convinced herself that God's simply not "tardy" in the details and affairs of her life, but that He's altogether absentee?

1. Speak truth into her life, yes please.

2. Empathize, without a doubt.

3. Pray, most definitely.

With all said, I readily acknowledge that reason and emotion don't always align. I know it because I've been there too. All. too. often. Do you ever find yourself there as well? We know all-too-well the truth with our minds, but when-oh-when will we let it sink deep down into our hearts?

I know the book of Jeremiah reminds us that the heart is DESPERATELY wicked, and it'll deceive us all-the-time. 

But my God is bigger than our hearts. 

For He created them (without our help). 

He fashioned them (without our approval). 

He can control them (if we'd only give Him the reigns).

Just listening to my friend talk, I realized how easy it is to look at others' lives and compare. It's easy to look at everyone else as if they're swimming in the ocean when you're stuck in a fish bowl (and stuck with a name like Soweto. ha.).

But don't get me wrong. I'm not saying God is holding the ocean back from you. Perhaps, He's simply preparing you for it. (Pssst...You know, there are sharks and big waves and things out there....?!?) It's no secret that He's always got your best interest at heart.

Reminds me slightly of the Israelites. Who ate manna and complained. And complained and ate manna. And ate manna and complained. (You get the idea, don't you?!?) God provided everything they needed right where they were DESPITE THEMSELVES.

Bottom line is this:

God loves us. 

far. 

too. 

much. 

To withhold good things from us.

The problem is that our definitions of "what's good," our timetables, and heart's desires don't always match up with our Heavenly Father's.

Today, look around. You've got everything you need. right. in. front. of. you. (yes, inside your fish bowl)

Stop listing out your complaints.

And start counting your pieces of manna instead.

Why are people so afraid of the truth?

Why are people so afraid of the truth?

We live in a day and age where people are plain-out scared of the truth. 

Scared to speak it (for fear the of other people's response). 

Scared to hear it (for fear of how our lives must change as a result of it). 

Scared even to watch it being spoken on behalf of the lives of others. (Really, what's up with that?!)

I think Satan loves nothing better than lackadaisical Christians who lay around in lounge chairs of lies. While we church-goers may not be prone to wear an infamous blue-and-white visitor's sticker that reads "Hello, my name is …. pathological liar," our lives (in a very subtle way) sometimes suggest this much is true. 

Before you get your feathers ruffled, listen to me when I say this: A liar isn't just someone who tells lies. A liar could be a person who simply neglects to speak the truth. 

Why no, I'm not prone to lie about people, make up stories about them, or add faulty details to an already true story. I've got far too many things on my to-do-list for that. I am, however, very prone to NOT speaking truth into someone's life when it's needed. 

Why?  For me, it's fear. Fear of upsetting people. Fear of hurting people's feelings. Fear of losing relationships for the sake of the truth. But as I think about it…. I've come to this conclusion: I'd rather have relationships wilt or dug up in my life because of a truth spoken than relationships grown out of seeds of "it's-not-my-place-to-judge"s and watered in "what-you-want-to-hear"s.

The Bible says that the truth sets men free.

In my experience, truth likes sunlight. It doesn't hide in the shadows and alleyways.  It dances in rain, knowing that better days are coming. Truth celebrates in community. It's not a secret to be kept.

Simply put: Stop hiding in fears. Stop hiding in truths not spoken. Someone in your life needs to be set free today. Say the things everyone's thinking, but no one's saying. Go the extra mile(s) required to show love to the people in your life by the truths you speak into them.

Pray that God gives you the words, strength, courage, and timeliness in which to say them. Most of all, beg that God would surround your life with people who unashamedly will speak truth into your life as well. 

Lives are changed when truths are told.

And perhaps, that's why people are so afraid of the truth.

Free Up Some Space

Free Up Some Space

So  I just bought a Mac computer a couple months ago and finally (with the help of my brother) figured out how to transfer all my iTunes from my PC to my Mac.

Then came my next feat. Syncing all that music to my Iphone, so my ringtone would stop being that embarrassing marimba sound. What is a marimba, by the way? By the sound of it, I'm thinking some kind of xylophone. Anyway, all of that to say, as I was syncing up my iTunes with my iPhone, I realized something.

I've got way too much music on my computer. So much in fact that I may have to free up some space for other things if some more is added.

Speaking of freeing up some space….

If you took inventory of your life right now, what is it that you'd need to free your life from so you'd have space for the things that matter more? For the things that matter most.

Think about it, free up that space, add things more important than the marimba ringtone, and sync yourself up with what matters the most.

What ever happened to Orpah?

What ever happened to Orpah?

No, I'm not talking about Oprah. The television talk show goddess. That so many women (ahem, people) adore and talk their socks off about.

I'm sure if someone really wanted to know about her, they could Google her, or Facebook her, or follow her on Twitter, or buy her magazine, or join her book club, or something…

But the woman I'm referring to Orpah. The girl mentioned in the Bible in the book of Ruth. And it's  100% doubtful that if the Bible doesn't tell us where exactly she went and what exactly happened to her, then we won't be able to find out the hard-and-fast truth of her whereabouts. At least not one with a Holy Spirit backing,stamp, seal, and inspiration packaged around it.

At first glance, you may be like I was. You think Orpah's just a supporting character. She's in the shadow of the spotlight. She's on the sidelines, riding the bench during the most exciting parts of the game. She's the back-up singer that adds something, but isn't quite necessary. She's a one-scene-and-she's-done type of actress.  She simply moves the plot from point A to point B….

Or is she?

Maybe you don't care.

Maybe you don't think it makes a difference where she ended up.

I mean, "If God wanted us to know, He would've told us," right? Maybe you're right. Maybe it doesn't matter after all.

But perhaps, you're in a different boat, heading in a different direction. You're now thinking, "Hmmm… you may be on to something, buuuut Rosemary, the title of the book is RUTH. Let's not get carried away. Let's simply focus on that the main character and the main story at hand."

Or perhaps, maybe you rowing in your little boat and you've just come upon the shore of a new line of thought….

maybe you've just never sat down and thought about it long enough to notice. 

Please don't get me wrong: I love the story of Ruth. I love her commitment to integrity, hard work, faithfulness to those she loves, and her unwavering heart that followed after God. 

I love knowing that God is always at work behind the scenes. And love watching love stories unfold. In God's way. and in His timing. for His ultimate glory. I love the picture that Boaz is of Christ. Not only the impeccable qualifications he exhibits as a-more-than-capable Redeemer, but His overwhelming willingness to do so. It. gets. me. every. time.

Being raised in church, I've heard the story of Ruth and Boaz over and over and over again.

But tonight, in Bible study, was different. (Perhaps, I just was searching for something deeper.)

I wanted, rather longed, to know just what happened to Orpah?!? I actually looked it up in my Bible, and I couldn't find it.  Yes, Ruth 1:14-15 tells us that Orpah "kissed her mother-in-law" (Naomi) and "returned to her people and returned to her gods." But what next??

Please tell me that bothers someone other than me. Or at least that it has some of you at the very least, curious.

I hope so. Because that's what my heart was asking God tonight. "What happened to Orpah?"

This is the simple answer He spoke directly into my heart tonight:

"Ruth lived by faith. She lived to be an integral part of My story as a result.

Orpah lived by sight. She lived to be a part of her own story, amongst her own people, worshipping her own gods. I wasn't even invited into her story. Her living-it-up-via-sight crowded out her giving-it-up-via-faith."

With that response from the Lord, I realized this. The initial prompting of that question wasn't and isn't about Orpah at all.

It's about me.

And it's about you.

When people think back to you and your life story and ask, "What ever happened to so-and-so?"

What will they say?

Things I'm learning.... (reprise)

Quite a few years ago, I wrote a list of "things I'm learning…" It contained advice, quotes, and sheer observations about the life I was living and the life that was carrying on all around me. Well, today, I thought about that list for the first time (in a very, very long time) and thought perhaps I should re-create it, in a sense, based on where I find myself in life right now. at this very moment. Nothing came from quote websites or the like… it's all fresh from my little Rosemary brain. Hope you enjoy it, and it brings some encouragement and comfort and COURAGE your way - no matter where you find yourself along life's journey today. :)

Things I'm learning...

1. Assume that everything has nothing to do with you, until directly told otherwise. Even then, know that you can't possibly know the full story. There's always something going on behind the scenes.

2. Don't try to please people. Please God. He'll deal with the people.

3. Sometimes kindness squelches out rudeness. Sometimes, it increases it exponentially. Be kind anyway.

4. The world needs more smiles, thank you cards, and heartfelt expressions of love in circulation today. Use the USPS to do so. Frequently.

5. Don't be afraid to chase your dreams. Once you've caught them, live them out with PASSION. 

6. Dispassionate and discontented people are everywhere. Passionate people are rare. All attitudes are contagious. Be careful who your friends are.

7. If you've already mastered all the dreams you once set out to do, your dreams were too small and attainable, or too much time has passed so that you've conquered them all. Be thankful for what you've accomplished, yes. But get back to the drawing board ASAP. Set bigger goals. Goals that force you to go outside of yourself to complete them. Set a timeline. Buy some new running shoes. Begin to chase after them at full speed.

8. Don't let people hold you back or push you forward. The people who are supposed to contribute vitally to your life always will. The ones that aren't are just distractions to the greater cause at hand.

9. Faith and fear are in constant battles with one another. If you follow hard after one, the other will get tail-kicked to the curb.

10. If you wear your heart on your sleeve, don't be surprised if you get snot on it. People don't always look before they sneeze.

11. Hurt is a part of life. It can help you, hinder you, or hospitalize you. Only you can decide that one.

12. God is faithful and trustworthy. He does not forget us. He longs for the best for us. Don't ever think or convince yourself otherwise. 

13. Encourage others along your life's path. We're all in this together.

14. Saying "no" can be difficult, but it also can be freeing. Try it out sometime this week. But don't be rude. We've got enough of that business floating around. :)

15. Find someone who asks tough questions and requires answers to them. Be friends with that person forever. They're bound to go places. They're destined for big things.

16. Surround yourself with people who challenge you and sharpen you to become a better man/woman.

17. If it's not broken, don't fix it. Even if it is broken, it may not be your job to fix it. Realize your boundaries.

18. If you're uncertain about something, confess it. Don't act like you readily agree with the majority. Challenge the system.

19. Advise less, pray more.

20. Honesty is respectable. Integrity, irreplaceable.

21. There are always more people watching your life than you could possibility realize. Live in such a way that would cause your unintended audiences to be inspired. (Your intended audiences already are.)

22. Be careful what you eat or watch right before bedtime. Strange dreams are contingent upon it.

23. Never lose your child-like vigor and excitement for life. Live everyday like you're waiting for Christmas morning.

24. Buy stuff when it's on sale. Your checkbook (and teacher salary) will thank you.

25. Sing in the shower more often.

26. Love people the way you want to be loved. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Forgive people the way you want to be forgiven.

Dollar Stores, Deals, and a Deeper Understanding of Resiliency

Dollar Stores, Deals, and a Deeper Understanding of Resiliency

Today, I went into the dollar store to pick up some toys for my kids' treasure box at school.

And the sights I saw are probably much of the same you experience when you visit the dollar store.

Let's see if our lists can compare:

Half-homeless-looking man sitting shirtless out front? Check.

Stressed-out mom with a handful of barefooted kids screaming at the top of their little lungs for lollipops that she simply can't afford? Check.

Store clerk who looks like they've never given a smile in their lives and (if they were to receive one) absolutely wouldn't know what to do with one? Check.

As you can see, all of the regularities about a dollar store experience were ever-present  for me today.

Though today's dollar store experience was much the same as ones before it, it was also quite different.

Today, as I walked down the toy aisle, I began to understand a part about life that I'd never quite gotten a grasp on before.

As you can well imagine, the dollar store's toy selection is by no means a Toy-R-Us. It's not even a Walmart or a Target. I mean, it's the dollar store for crying out loud. Needless to say, the aisle of toys didn't extend indefinitely. It actually was all thrown together onto one short aisle.

One side of the toy aisle was dark, creepy, semi-scary and contained weapons, ninjas, action figures, and various other war-related items. It was outlined in the color of trees-dirt-and-grass cameo. And sent out the strong-yet-true message: Little boys are tough. They're wired for action, chasing, fighting, conquering, and leading.

The other side of the aisle, thankfully, told a whole different story. Dainty baby dolls, precious princess jewels, and glitter covered the shelves. Every container displayed some shade of cotton-candy-pink. And though its very presence did a nice job of balancing out the scariness of the other side of the aisle, it too conveyed a message: Little girls are fragile. They're wired for care taking, mending, and fixing, and making things appear pretty.

But not only do the differences between boys and girls come out in toy aisle displays, they come out in very real situations and circumstances of life and various matters of the heart as well.

While on any given day, the boy side of the aisle gives off a "danger: war zone" type feel and the girl's side is all a bed of roses, interesting isn't it that much the opposite is true when heartache hits home.

When girls hurt, they act in such a way that makes them appear seven shades of crazy because they're trying to show they're wired for action, chasing, fighting, conquering, and leading (when really they're not). They put up a "danger: do not enter war zone" type feel with the emotions they display. Truly, beneath the surface, it's really just a deep cry of their delicacy that's been trampled on...

When boys hurt, they put up a front, dress everything up in glitter, bows, and cotton-candy-pink so-to-speak. They act in such a way that they're seemingly wired for mending, fixing, and making things appear pretty (when really they're not). Beneath the surface, it's really just a deep cry of their need to lead/conquer that's been compromised…

Beneath the surface, all people hurt at one given time or another. That's the same for all of us. The difference, however, is not in the hurts we have but in how we handle our hurts.

All of those scattered thoughts from my trip to the dollar store today led me to this question: What makes some people so resilient to the heartaches in life and others so breakable?

In other words, if people are like rubber bands, what causes some of them to stretch and stretch and stretch and keep on going no matter what shape they're in, while others get slightly (or severely) bent out of shape and come apart as a result of it?

Here's some possibilities I thought of:

Is it simply a person's gender that makes all the difference?

Is it gender-conditioning that makes a difference? (The whole "girls can cry, boys must be tough" philosophy.)

Is it in the way they were raised?

Is it in the home environment and home training (or lack of) they were given?

Is it a special genetic pre-disposition to resiliency that some families have and others aren't lucky enough to be born with?

Is it connected with the sheer make-up of one's disposition and personality?

Is it in the magnitude and deepness of hurts a person's encountered?

Is it in the number of hurts they've encountered?

Granted, I do think all of those factors do play a role in the grand scheme of things.

But i tend to think it goes deeper still than that.

I think the way people handle their hurts is a direct correlation to their relationship with God.

It shows if you trust HIm.

It shows if you trust His timing.

It shows if you trust His faithfulness.

It shows if you trust His promises.

It shows if you trust His heart.

Amongst, others.

So, today, if you're hurting, know someone who's hurting, just getting over a hurt, or just getting-your-feet-wet into one, know this much is true.

God sees beneath the surface display of what you convey to others.

He knows all about your gender, conditioning, rearing, home environment, genetic make-up, personality, past hurts, present discouragements, and future disappointments.

He wired you exactly how you should be wired.

He crafts your life situations and the timing of your life's situations exactly how they should be crafted.

In the midst of whatever you may be facing today, His hand is outstretched to you longing for you to see you're not in this alone.

He sees you.  

He's always with you. 

He longs for you to trust him more. 

Love

Love makes black and white go color,
Love doesn't make things dim.

Whitewash makes picket fences look whiter,
but what's underneath all the trim?

Some things aren't alway surface-level.
Real things in life go deep.

Remember this in the valleys low.
Remember this on the steppes.

Some days you'll wake up wondering,
what else you could have done.
Ah, but one day,

Oh, one day you'll wake up knowing,
Knowing if it's "the One."

Don't go looking for perfection
In the end, it can't be found.

Look for a man who loves Jesus
More than anything else around.

Sometimes "these things take time,"
So be patient. Take heart.

Within the time you're waiting,
Don't get lost in games of the heart.

Rather, become the girl, woman, lady
Whose life simply can't be the same.

You know His heart, you see His face,
you know more than just His name.

God's plan for you is all-consuming
He's the end, the sustaining middle,
The Start.

Don't let that purpose be tainted by
a white-washed, confused little heart.

"Don't Pick Me Last!" (Please!)

“Don’t pick me last!”
September 16, 2011
Friday morning.
7:55a.m.
 As I’m preparing for a school day full of kids, tests, and running noses, I’m writing because it’s on my heart. And quite heavily on my heart, might I add.
The desire of every person.
Is.
To want to be wanted.
To be chosen.
To be picked out from the rest.
And those who deny it are just wanting the attention from not wanting to be wanted.

Not only is "don't pick me last!" the universal internal cry of kids on playgrounds, may I dare say it’s the universal eternal cry of people everywhere?
Sometimes, when you look around at the blessings and moving-ons of others, do you ever experience that nagging feeling that God has forgotten you? Your ship has yet to arrive? Or worse yet, your train has already made it to the last destination along your life’s journey?
It’s absurd, really. That idea that says the God of the universe Who brought you here, to this point, in this section of life’s journey, is completely done with you.
When I get to feeling/thinking this way, I tend to revert back to my childhood Sunday-school-song-singing days and find hope in the song that so readily rings true: "He's still working on me, me, me. To make me what I ought to be, be, be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the Earth, and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient He must be. He's still working on me!"

God's in your midst. And you know what? He's working admist your midst.
He may be strategically waiting to give you something, reveal to you something, or perhaps He's simply giving you extra time to cultivate your love relationship with Him.
So, with all said, so what if you’re "picked last" for whatever that fill-in-the-blank in your life is right now?
Does that mean He loves you any less? Nope.
It simply means He’s preparing you on a different time scale.
Your passport to all of life’s coveted “destinations” (marriage, kids, new job, new house, new friends, etc.) may have a different time/date stamp. But trust me, it’ll get there all in time. His time. His perfect timing.
What He has begun in you, He will perfect until the day of His coming.
He’s not done with you. Don’t live in such a way that says you’re “done” with Him - even when you feel you're being "picked last."
After all, good things do come to those that WAIT. :)

When “helping” isn’t all-so-beneficial...

Helpers.

They’re everywhere.

From community helpers to classroom helpers to even Hamburger Helpers, a day’s routine can barely go without them, in some shape, form, or variety.

Yes, they’re everywhere. But what are they there for? You know, helpers are those people who come alongside you and enable you to perform a job/task you could in NO POSSIBLE WAY do on YOUR OWN. They’re the people you call on throughout the day and thank at the end of the day.

Helpers, of every kind, are sprinkled throughout society and littered throughout little elementary school classrooms.

Taken to a Spiritual level, Scripture even speaks to the idea of “helpers,” as it mentions several times about our Helper from on High. God’s not just a helper. The Bible so matter-of-factly reminds us that He’s a VERY PRESENT help - especially in times of trouble.

Interesting, isn’t it that Scripture doesn’t speak on the issue of helpers in reverse? Meaning, it never places God in the needy spot and us, as Christians, as the “helpers.” And why exactly do you think that is? Well, for one, it’s backwards. The God of the Universe doesn’t need our “help.” And two, it’s impossible. You can’t possibly help someone who doesn’t need your assistance.

But yet, we do exactly that with our lives. We try to “help” God out. In big ways. In small ways. In ways that pertain to life’s details. In ways that pertain to life’s timing. In ways that magnify us and diminish the great picture of life going on around us. And when we do so, we just look silly. Foolish, even. To think that we could “help” God when He so VERY PRESENTLY comes to aid and help and protect and guide and grow us throughout all of life’s circumstances.

God is God. He helps you to be you for His glory and your good. NOT the other way around.

 Submit to that. Submit to Him.  Give Him your time. Give Him your life's details. Let Him be your help in whatever it is you’re facing today.

Dreams in my Heart, Pennies in my Pocket

                Have you ever had a dream that seemed plain-out ridiculous? No, I’m not talking about the ones you have when you’re unconscious and are being chased by some make-believe monster (as a direct result of some goofy movie you watched or a spicy-something-or-‘nother from Taco Bell’s fourth quarter menu). Nor am I referring to the dreams that jumble people, situations, and facts from reality all into one big conglomerated messy situation. I’m not even thinking about the ones that seem so real that you wake up dazed and confused and wonder, “Did that really happen, or was it ‘just a dream’?”

                Everyone has those type of dreams.

                I’m questioning about the dreams that are far more important than our unconscious minds can concoct. The ones that are more realistic. More far-fetched. More etched inside your very being. The ones that are far too “silly” for you to tell people about, yet far too big for you to conquer on your own. The ones you have when you’re FULLY AWAKE.

                You know, the good ones that you keep to yourself.      

               

                The ones you wake up with in the mornings, and tuck yourself into bed with at night. The ones you daydream about when you’re performing your regular routines of life (“if only….”). The ones that linger with you throughout the nights when you’ve awoken from a “nightmare”.

                I’m convinced that not everyone has those type of dreams. Or if they do, they’re very good at hiding them. So, rather, I should say this: Not everyone is bold enough to live in a way that proves they even have those type of dreams. But I would be hard-pressed to find any proof to the contrary that those dreams we have are directly placed in us by God. That’s right.

                [Side note: This reminds me of a scene in Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit where Whoopie-the-nun-Goldberg is talking to Lauren-teenage-singer-girl-from-the-streets-Hill about pursuing her dreams in life… She says, “If you wake up in the morning and you can’t think about anything but singing, then you should be a singer, girl.”  

                Seque.

                Skip to the part where Whoopie (A.k.a. Sister Mary Clarence) stands up in front of her class of students whose whole world-environment has told them they’ll never amount to anything and boldly remarks, “If you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention.”

                Why do you think she says this? Because the kids in that movie (and in those desperate life situations) needed to hear it. And because it’s true.]

                The best dreams are those you have when you’ve “woken up” so-to-speak from your daily routines and “pay attention” to what it is that truly captivates your interest and revives the passion you have for life.

                Granted, I know Whoopie Goldberg isn’t exactly an authority when it comes to living a God-revering life and living it abundantly, but I do know one thing is for sure: Her character, “Sister Mary Clarence,” had it spot-on.

                With all said, what is that dream you have tucked inside your heart? What is the dream that God Himself has placed inside of you? What-in-the-world would it take for you to share it with others, proceed with prayer, and begin to pursue it today with all that you are? Before the day is out, recognize what it is you’re passionate about. Share it with someone you know, trust, and love. Pray to the God Who gave you that dream. Ask Him to show you the details of how it will all work together for your good and His glory. And. Then. Go. Pursue. That. Thing.

                That’s just a little of what I’ve been thinking lately about my own life and actively pursuing my own dreams. But then again, that’s just my two cents on the whole matter. I only hope and pray that the jingle of two pennies in my pocket stirs you to sit down long enough to recognize the dreams you were made to have. They’re more than something simply to carry around inside of you.  They’re meant to be chased by you. Shared with others. And used to change the world around you.

                Don’t let them go to waste.

School on My Mind…Haiti in My Heart.

                As I sit here tonight (the night before the new school year starts), tons of questions are floating through my mind. Checklists with seemingly no end are reeling through my mind like the credits from a major motion picture, and the nervousness/excitement of what this year may hold is as real to me as the night-before-Christmas-jitters we all experienced as children. Though the results of this year’s relationships, the educational successes, and the individual struggles are yet to be written, the expectations are there. The goals have been set. The plans and prayers are in place to achieve everything we (my students and I) set out to do.

                Despite everything that’s couch-potatoeing in the forefront of my mind right now with simple and menial concerns of my first-world mindset, I can’t help but revert back to what I experienced this summer in Haiti. The heat. The sweat. The amount of water I drank. The bugs. The bug spray. The huge roach on my pillow in the middle of the night. The fear and sleeplessness that followed. The no-running-water. The braided hair. The bucket showers. The food. The beans and rice. The hotdogs-and-spaghetti for breakfast.  The sweet (gross) porridge.The crunchy goat. The tasty fish. The Coca-cola in reused glass bottles. The precious women that gave all day and all their hearts to prepare food for us…

               

The children.

…the way they smiled. The way they laughed. The way joy danced through their eyes. The way they hugged. The way they held my hands. The way they danced. The way they said my name. (“Wwwwosemawie!!”) The way they sang at the top of their little Creole-speaking voices. The way they worshipped Jesus. The way they received love. The way they gave it back in unprecedented portions.

                Tears sting my eyes as I write this, knowing that tonight, although many of my “kids” (ahem, students) are getting ready for warm showers, cozy beds in air conditioning, soft-glowing nightlights, and bedtime prayers all around Lynchburg tonight, a large portion of my heart resides half-a-world-away, in the-middle-of-seriously-nowhere, Tiburon, Haiti. Because, you see, my kids are there, too. Preparing for cold-bucket-dirty-water showers (possibly walking to the nearest river to do so). Laying down in ultra-uncomfortable lumpy beds (maybe made of piles of dirty clothes). Playing with lightning bugs (perhaps?). And pouring out sweet choruses of bedtime prayers that ascend up into the Heavens and touch the heart of an Almighty God, Who sees and hears.  

                With all said, I hope and pray you sleep well tonight, my beautiful Haitian kids. While I have school concerns racing through my mind, know that your faces have captivated my heart. Your sheer existence has altered my very being. Thank you for teaching me what it’s like to be a student of your good example.  I cannot wait to see you again Summer 2012.

On the Fence.

Fences.
They take a long time to build, but they always serve a purpose. They keep important things in. They keep harmful things out. They serve to protect, to guard, and oftentimes, to make one feel safe.

Though they all perform the same basic functions, no two fences look alike. And maybe they shouldn't. Some match buildings or houses, others divide vast amounts of landscape. Some are new and fresh and beautiful. Others are old, worn out, yet still in place for a purpose.

No two fences are the same. Some are small, some are large. Some are just plain old all-natural wood. Others are painted and decorated-to-the-hilts. Some have latches and keys and various deviations of "keep out" signs, others don't. they're more friendly and inviting. Yet, they all still serve a purpose. Keep important things in. Keep harmful things out.

No matter how big or how small or how plain or how decorated our "fences" in life may be, there's one thing to be said for all fences.
They're. Not. Designed. To. Be. Straddled.

Today, ask God to help you identify the "fences" you've placed in your life (better yet, the fences He's placed in your life).

Spend time thinking about the important things it's keeping in and the harmful things it's keeping out.

Then, boldly and unapologetically, make the choice of which side of the fence you're on. Straddling fences only leads to pain for you and discomfort for everyone watching.

Don't get me wrong: Life isn't all about making easy choices and living on the "safe" side; however, the fences in our lives have taken a long time to build. They're there for a reason. And they always, always serve a purpose.

Happy fence hopping.

Fear. Fireworks. and Freedom.

I couldn't help it. I went out to Atlantic beach with my parents tonight to enjoy some fireworks, and it hit me. A distant memory flashed before me as if it just happened yesterday. Confession time: I was a strange child. I guess being the middle child of five requires you to go to extreme measures to stand out. To be unique. To get the attention every child (ahem, every person) likes and requires to feel significant. All that to say this: as one of my childhood quirks, I was scared of fireworks. That's right. As everyone else was enjoying the first-hand sights, I was overly fearful of the sound of fireworks. As a result, I'd go into my aunt's living room and shove pillows into my ears until the madness was over. I don't know when or how I eventually overcame this strange fear of mine, but tonight, as I sat on the beach with my parents, I realized how very glad I am that I no longer fear fireworks. Rather, I can now enjoy them as the sign of freedom that they are. You know what? I'm gonna go here with that thought: aren't our spiritual lives the same way, sometimes? We see others enjoying the freedom that Christ came, died, and rose again to give us, yet the silly ( yet oh-so-real) fears in our hearts, minds, and lives require us to bypass the firework moments of life, shove spiritual pillows in our ears, and miss the celebration altogether. Whatever fear you're facing tonight, let go of your comfort pillows and join the family in celebrating the freedom and victory Christ died to give you. Your fireworks are waiting.

Church Signs, Crazy Times, and My Daddy (My Protector)

I must confess. Yesterday, as I was driving home to Jacksonville from Lynchburg, I passed a church (Who am I kidding? I probably passed 140,000+ churches… traversing through the “Bible Belt” of the country and all…), and when I typically pass by churches on-the-side-of-the-road, what do you think I notice?
Yes, I notice the amount (or lack of amount) of cars in the parking lot (…I’m such a Baptist. Eeee.).  That’s an obvious give-away. See it; count it. Don’t see it; don’t count it. Done and done.
I also seemingly assume and assess the church’s community-friendliness based upon some non-essential (and probably very faulty) means. Like this one church. In South Carolina. Literally perched up right next to a palm reader’s palace. Had a “Revival: Thursday –Sunday” sign out front. I wondered if the palm reader had been invited to the revival. By a person, and not just a sign. See, those kinds of things are what I wonder about when I pass churches on my road trips.
And , while we’re at it, I must admit that I wonder about and am QUITE creeped out by the tiny churches with the HUGE cemeteries in the background. (You know what I’m talking about! They’re scccary.)
Finally, and perhaps the most interesting thing I notice about new-found churches on the side-of-the-road in the middle-of-nowhere is WHAT THEIR SIGN SAYS.  C’mon, you exactly know what I’m talking about: the fill-in-the-blank, post-at-your-own-risk-for-the-world-to-see church signs:
First, you’ve got the ones that say thought-provoking messages from some overly-bored, yet super-creative secretary. (Props to church secretaries everywhere… you truly do more than your fair share of work!)
And then there’s the ones that are literally black-and-white by sight and by meaning… You know, the ones that display made-up cutesy (and convicting!) phrases and that are signed “- God” at the end. [Still unsure how I feel about those…Hmmm.]
Then, if we’re real honest, there’s the ones that just make church people look crazy.
And that’s what I saw on my road trip home yesterday: A CHURCH SIGN THAT MADE CHURCH PEOPLE LOOK CRAZY.
What did it say? (You may ask.)
“Happy Father’s Day.”
My first reaction was a little mix of surprise (teachers tend to lose track of time in the summer!), a dash of shock (why didn’t Hallmark warn me?!), and a little voicemail to my mom (“hey, mom! Are you SURE it’s not Father’s Day TODAY?”)
It honestly made me wonder what kind of people attended that church. I mean, what kind of secretary would mess that up? Regardless of the reasoning behind that church advertising their craziness (and their lack of calendar) to the world, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the hopeful dads that would enter and the disappointment that might follow when they found out they had been duped.
But, naturally so, the thoughts in my little mind didn’t stop turning there.
I wanted to give these people the benefit of the doubt. I really did.
I wondered. If. Just. Maybe.
They did it on purpose?
What if they, like me, took time long enough to reminisce about their wonderful daddies and settled upon the fact that one Sunday was simply not enough time to say “Thank You” and “I love you” to the men in their lives. So, they decided that a Father's Day WEEK was more appropriate. (?)
If that was their rationale, I’m in. I’d agree. I’d attend their church (crazy sign and all).
Because if that much is true, though they had the date terribly wrong, they had the idea terribly right.
In these crazy times, good, solid dads are worth celebrating.
For they’re our protectors.
They keep us from what is harmful.
They guide us onto what is right.
Though we don’t always agree with them, they’re the MEN (the LEADERS, Biblically speaking) of our houses. And rightfully so.
Good, Godly daddies (like mine!) protect naturally and persistently, from the good nature stored up in their hearts.
Sub-par daddies protect sporadically, as in only when they’re threatened or intimidated.
“Bad” or absent daddies don’t protect others. They simply protect themselves. [I think they’re just too scared to do or know otherwise.]
Regardless of the rating a man may get on the above mentioned Rosemary-Richter-scale-of-Daddy-hood, something in me believes every man (and every daddy) LONGS to be a protector.
After all, it’s what God designed them to be. For it’s what God is to us, His children.
He protects us. He guides us. He loves us. He corrects us.
All that to address these two audiences:
Men of the world,
Strive to be good, Godly men. Long to be good, Godly daddies. Stand guard and protect, guide, love, and correct the people in your life - no matter what it may cost you. The world's waiting on men like you to take the lead.
Daddy,
Let’s be honest.
Every little girl (and little boy) needs a daddy.
But not just any dad will do,
They need a good, Godly one (like you).
Thank you for guiding me (even when it wasn’t easy!).
Thank you for protecting me (even when I didn’t readily comply!).
Thank you for loving me (always, always, always).
Thank you for correcting me (when my sassy little self needed it more than anything!).
Let’s take this Father’s Day WEEK to celebrate you’re mine.
I Love You,
Rosemary
p.s. Thank you, crazy church sign people in South Carolina, for bringing this stark reality to my mind’s attention. Father’s Day WEEK is where it’s at.

Feasts and Famines

Though I couldn’t put my finger on what it was or why, I was having a sad day and just had a longing feeling that I needed God today more than ever. While I do praise Him for that ability to want Him and to long for Him on the sad days, these thoughts entered into my mind:
Feasts and famines.
Mountain tops and valleys.
Ebbs and flows.
Winters and Spring times.
Ups and downs.
Promised Lands and Desert Wastelands.
Highs and lows.
Scripture’s sprinkled with them.
And, if we’re all honest about it, our lives are littered with them.
Your life.
My life.
The guy-next-door ‘s life.
Even the woman-living-down-the-street-in-the-cul-de-sac’s life is not immune to them.
What I’m referring to are the sad times, the thrilling times, the confusing times, the tormenting times, the I’m-so-happy-I-have-sprinkles-on-my-ice-cream-cone times, and the run-of-the-mill, regular, in-between times of life.
I guess part of It we could just label as (or write off as) “that’s life.”
That’s the way it goes sometimes, for sure.
 Perhaps, the up’s and down’s and all-around’s are just what life’s made up of.
However, sometimes, the “feasts” and “famines” of life are direct results of our faulty mental decisions and flighty emotional choices, which lead to physical actions and spiritual (or unspiritual! Eeee.) life REactions. After all, you reap what you sow, right? Another way of saying it, like my dear sweet Grandma Murphy used to quote, “You make your bed…. Now, you lay in it!” [haha, ohh grandma memories… love them!]
However, far below the surface of our own wants, desires, causes, and effects, lies the stark reality that God is not only present as a director-of-sorts on the stage of life; rather, He’s the script-writer. Nothing happens that skips His attention or overrides His sovereignty.
In other words, the “feasts” and “famines” of our lives are directly ordered, packaged, sealed, and shipped to our little houses as result of God, out of His deep love for us, reaching down and hugging our lives with His sometimes painfully-heart-wrenching, yet-fully-needed-and-necessary interventions. (For further evidence of this truth, see the entire book of Job.)
Regardless of the exact origin of our lives’ feasts and famines, they each serve as reminders to us.
A reminder that we’re all frail.
That we’re human by nature.
That we’re broken by choice.
 That we’re subject to roller-coaster emotions and cotton-candy-like feelings.
All of that to say: our frailty, our human nature, our brokenness, and our ever-changing emotions and feelings draw us to a solid, divine, whole, perfect, complete, holy, and unchanging God.
Buuuuut…..not only do these times in our lives serve as reminders, they. each. have. a. purpose. While I can no more give you the A,B,Cs or the 1,2,3s as to “why” God’s permitting/orchestrating such-in-such situation(s) in your life right now than the next girl, I can give you this hope:  God is ever-present. and ever-loving. He came to die so that you could live. And not just live any life, or have a hope of eternal life (though both of those are included!),…. He came to give you life, so you could live it MORE ABUNDANTLY (John 10:10b).  This time in your life is divinely purposeful for your ultimate good and His ultimate glory.
Today, in whatever season of life you’re in, find a reason to rest in God’s goodness. And don’t just take my word for it, either. Taste and see for yourself. KNOW that He is God. He is oh-so-gooood. And He’s is using your current life’s circumstances to remind you not only that you’re frail, but also that you’re HIS. And while you’re at it, know this: His purposes for you and your life are much higher and greater than anything you even have the ability to conceive or imagine on your own.
With all that rambling to the forefront, I close with this thought:
At the end of the day and now that I’m looking back, I wouldn’t’ve traded my awkwardly, out-of-the-blue sad day today for anything because it was used to draw me closer to the Creator of my day. Thank you, Jesus, that you don’t waste a single little thing.
Ohhh, I just wonder, what's He using to draw you closer to Him today?

Just Look Inside

It's NO secret (Victoria's or otherwise) that before every Tuesday NIGHT women's Bible study comes a TuesDAY, filled with speed bumps, potholes, construction sites, and various detours in the daily routines of life that do an oh-so-good job of alluring me away from the simple reminder to acknowledge that "this is the day the LORD has made; therefore, I will REJOICE and be GLAD in it."


Aaaand  it all started something like this...
Today was markedly a strange day for me, no doubt.

To start, when I woke up this morning, I had that “gut” feeling that I was going to be ill-prepared for the school day. [If you’re a teacher, you may very well know EXACTLY what feeling I’m talking about.] No amount of planning (or worrying) or effort on your own can ever fully prepare you for some of the things life hands you throughout the school day. [Thankfully, as Christians, we know it’s GOD who hands us each-and-every momentous event of our day…. And it’s only WITH Him and THROUGH Him we can accomplish all things.] However, even with all of that in my mind, I still had this feeling…..

Thankfully, not everything is always as it feels.

Once at school and after quickly proceeding through early morning devotions and a jumble of announcements-for-the-day, I tuned in to this morning’s faculty meeting long enough to hear my principal quote these words, “Nothing is normal anymore.” Though I knew he was referring (in context) to the regularly-scheduled events of the school days no longer being on track (because it is the last week of school for the kiddos), I readily took a light-hearted laughter to this statement and instantaneously made it my mantra-of-the-day…..

Thankfully, not everything is always as it sounds.

Shortly after leaving morning devotions, I walked back to my classroom to find a super small Victoria’s Secret bag on my desk. That’s right: I’m not making this stuff up, kids. As soon as I saw it (and after honestly wondering who in the WORLD was gifting me with lingerie), I quickly recalled my mantra-of-the-day, “Nothing is normal anymore.” Just then, my student popped his head in and had me open the “gift” he left on my desk…..

Thankfully, not everything is always as it appears (or is wrapped). (Whew!)

Mid-way through my morning, something started to go downhill. FAST. And by “something,” I mean the air quality in my classroom. For some reason, my room began to smell SUPER funky. And I couldn’t even put my finger on what it was (literally AND thankfully). Was it….throw-up? Dirty socks? Wet shoes? Rotten eggs? Non-deodorized fourth-graders? I had no clue, honestly. All I knew is this: IT WAS RANK. None of the students had said anything, and the smell was coming only from near my desk (ahem, where a student’s book bag was chilling out); so before lunch, I simply Febreezed the mess ‘outta my classroom and let it rest.

Thankfully (or maybe not-so-thankfully, in this case), not everything is always better-left-alone.

When I returned from lunchtime with all my kiddos in tow, the smell inside my classroom could’ve easily killed an entire village of people. Easily. In fact, I think it was well on its way to doing so, because as soon as we turned the corner IN THE HALLWAY, the smell attacked my class. (We couldn’t even go into the classroom until the source of it was disposed of.)….

Thankfully, some things should be searched out.

THEN, once all the dust had settled from the events of our CRAZY morning together, my students began working on a rather lengthy graphing (a.k.a. glorified-coloring) assignment, and I turned on some piano music (some old-school hymns, of course!... love them!) softly in the background to calm us all down a notch-‘er-two. And what hymn do you suppose came on in-that-moment?  This one: “It is well with my soul.” When I heard it, I simply smiled. I knew that God Himself, despite (and in the midst of!) all the craziness of the day, was present with me in my classroom today (just as He always is). However, that extra-special reminder this afternoon was helpful. :)

All of those non-essential details and sillyness of my day combine to give you (...Captain Planet!)... Just kidding. They combine (in my mind) to provide this serious reminder:

When something is not as it feels,
When something is not as it sounds,
When something is not as it appears,
When something is not better-left-alone,
When something should be searched out,
JUST LOOK INSIDE.
Check your soul.
Is it well there?
And if (AND ONLY IF) it is, pause long enough to REJOICE and be GLAD in THAT.