Things I'm learning.... (reprise)

Quite a few years ago, I wrote a list of "things I'm learning…" It contained advice, quotes, and sheer observations about the life I was living and the life that was carrying on all around me. Well, today, I thought about that list for the first time (in a very, very long time) and thought perhaps I should re-create it, in a sense, based on where I find myself in life right now. at this very moment. Nothing came from quote websites or the like… it's all fresh from my little Rosemary brain. Hope you enjoy it, and it brings some encouragement and comfort and COURAGE your way - no matter where you find yourself along life's journey today. :)

Things I'm learning...

1. Assume that everything has nothing to do with you, until directly told otherwise. Even then, know that you can't possibly know the full story. There's always something going on behind the scenes.

2. Don't try to please people. Please God. He'll deal with the people.

3. Sometimes kindness squelches out rudeness. Sometimes, it increases it exponentially. Be kind anyway.

4. The world needs more smiles, thank you cards, and heartfelt expressions of love in circulation today. Use the USPS to do so. Frequently.

5. Don't be afraid to chase your dreams. Once you've caught them, live them out with PASSION. 

6. Dispassionate and discontented people are everywhere. Passionate people are rare. All attitudes are contagious. Be careful who your friends are.

7. If you've already mastered all the dreams you once set out to do, your dreams were too small and attainable, or too much time has passed so that you've conquered them all. Be thankful for what you've accomplished, yes. But get back to the drawing board ASAP. Set bigger goals. Goals that force you to go outside of yourself to complete them. Set a timeline. Buy some new running shoes. Begin to chase after them at full speed.

8. Don't let people hold you back or push you forward. The people who are supposed to contribute vitally to your life always will. The ones that aren't are just distractions to the greater cause at hand.

9. Faith and fear are in constant battles with one another. If you follow hard after one, the other will get tail-kicked to the curb.

10. If you wear your heart on your sleeve, don't be surprised if you get snot on it. People don't always look before they sneeze.

11. Hurt is a part of life. It can help you, hinder you, or hospitalize you. Only you can decide that one.

12. God is faithful and trustworthy. He does not forget us. He longs for the best for us. Don't ever think or convince yourself otherwise. 

13. Encourage others along your life's path. We're all in this together.

14. Saying "no" can be difficult, but it also can be freeing. Try it out sometime this week. But don't be rude. We've got enough of that business floating around. :)

15. Find someone who asks tough questions and requires answers to them. Be friends with that person forever. They're bound to go places. They're destined for big things.

16. Surround yourself with people who challenge you and sharpen you to become a better man/woman.

17. If it's not broken, don't fix it. Even if it is broken, it may not be your job to fix it. Realize your boundaries.

18. If you're uncertain about something, confess it. Don't act like you readily agree with the majority. Challenge the system.

19. Advise less, pray more.

20. Honesty is respectable. Integrity, irreplaceable.

21. There are always more people watching your life than you could possibility realize. Live in such a way that would cause your unintended audiences to be inspired. (Your intended audiences already are.)

22. Be careful what you eat or watch right before bedtime. Strange dreams are contingent upon it.

23. Never lose your child-like vigor and excitement for life. Live everyday like you're waiting for Christmas morning.

24. Buy stuff when it's on sale. Your checkbook (and teacher salary) will thank you.

25. Sing in the shower more often.

26. Love people the way you want to be loved. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Forgive people the way you want to be forgiven.

Dollar Stores, Deals, and a Deeper Understanding of Resiliency

Dollar Stores, Deals, and a Deeper Understanding of Resiliency

Today, I went into the dollar store to pick up some toys for my kids' treasure box at school.

And the sights I saw are probably much of the same you experience when you visit the dollar store.

Let's see if our lists can compare:

Half-homeless-looking man sitting shirtless out front? Check.

Stressed-out mom with a handful of barefooted kids screaming at the top of their little lungs for lollipops that she simply can't afford? Check.

Store clerk who looks like they've never given a smile in their lives and (if they were to receive one) absolutely wouldn't know what to do with one? Check.

As you can see, all of the regularities about a dollar store experience were ever-present  for me today.

Though today's dollar store experience was much the same as ones before it, it was also quite different.

Today, as I walked down the toy aisle, I began to understand a part about life that I'd never quite gotten a grasp on before.

As you can well imagine, the dollar store's toy selection is by no means a Toy-R-Us. It's not even a Walmart or a Target. I mean, it's the dollar store for crying out loud. Needless to say, the aisle of toys didn't extend indefinitely. It actually was all thrown together onto one short aisle.

One side of the toy aisle was dark, creepy, semi-scary and contained weapons, ninjas, action figures, and various other war-related items. It was outlined in the color of trees-dirt-and-grass cameo. And sent out the strong-yet-true message: Little boys are tough. They're wired for action, chasing, fighting, conquering, and leading.

The other side of the aisle, thankfully, told a whole different story. Dainty baby dolls, precious princess jewels, and glitter covered the shelves. Every container displayed some shade of cotton-candy-pink. And though its very presence did a nice job of balancing out the scariness of the other side of the aisle, it too conveyed a message: Little girls are fragile. They're wired for care taking, mending, and fixing, and making things appear pretty.

But not only do the differences between boys and girls come out in toy aisle displays, they come out in very real situations and circumstances of life and various matters of the heart as well.

While on any given day, the boy side of the aisle gives off a "danger: war zone" type feel and the girl's side is all a bed of roses, interesting isn't it that much the opposite is true when heartache hits home.

When girls hurt, they act in such a way that makes them appear seven shades of crazy because they're trying to show they're wired for action, chasing, fighting, conquering, and leading (when really they're not). They put up a "danger: do not enter war zone" type feel with the emotions they display. Truly, beneath the surface, it's really just a deep cry of their delicacy that's been trampled on...

When boys hurt, they put up a front, dress everything up in glitter, bows, and cotton-candy-pink so-to-speak. They act in such a way that they're seemingly wired for mending, fixing, and making things appear pretty (when really they're not). Beneath the surface, it's really just a deep cry of their need to lead/conquer that's been compromised…

Beneath the surface, all people hurt at one given time or another. That's the same for all of us. The difference, however, is not in the hurts we have but in how we handle our hurts.

All of those scattered thoughts from my trip to the dollar store today led me to this question: What makes some people so resilient to the heartaches in life and others so breakable?

In other words, if people are like rubber bands, what causes some of them to stretch and stretch and stretch and keep on going no matter what shape they're in, while others get slightly (or severely) bent out of shape and come apart as a result of it?

Here's some possibilities I thought of:

Is it simply a person's gender that makes all the difference?

Is it gender-conditioning that makes a difference? (The whole "girls can cry, boys must be tough" philosophy.)

Is it in the way they were raised?

Is it in the home environment and home training (or lack of) they were given?

Is it a special genetic pre-disposition to resiliency that some families have and others aren't lucky enough to be born with?

Is it connected with the sheer make-up of one's disposition and personality?

Is it in the magnitude and deepness of hurts a person's encountered?

Is it in the number of hurts they've encountered?

Granted, I do think all of those factors do play a role in the grand scheme of things.

But i tend to think it goes deeper still than that.

I think the way people handle their hurts is a direct correlation to their relationship with God.

It shows if you trust HIm.

It shows if you trust His timing.

It shows if you trust His faithfulness.

It shows if you trust His promises.

It shows if you trust His heart.

Amongst, others.

So, today, if you're hurting, know someone who's hurting, just getting over a hurt, or just getting-your-feet-wet into one, know this much is true.

God sees beneath the surface display of what you convey to others.

He knows all about your gender, conditioning, rearing, home environment, genetic make-up, personality, past hurts, present discouragements, and future disappointments.

He wired you exactly how you should be wired.

He crafts your life situations and the timing of your life's situations exactly how they should be crafted.

In the midst of whatever you may be facing today, His hand is outstretched to you longing for you to see you're not in this alone.

He sees you.  

He's always with you. 

He longs for you to trust him more. 

Love

Love makes black and white go color,
Love doesn't make things dim.

Whitewash makes picket fences look whiter,
but what's underneath all the trim?

Some things aren't alway surface-level.
Real things in life go deep.

Remember this in the valleys low.
Remember this on the steppes.

Some days you'll wake up wondering,
what else you could have done.
Ah, but one day,

Oh, one day you'll wake up knowing,
Knowing if it's "the One."

Don't go looking for perfection
In the end, it can't be found.

Look for a man who loves Jesus
More than anything else around.

Sometimes "these things take time,"
So be patient. Take heart.

Within the time you're waiting,
Don't get lost in games of the heart.

Rather, become the girl, woman, lady
Whose life simply can't be the same.

You know His heart, you see His face,
you know more than just His name.

God's plan for you is all-consuming
He's the end, the sustaining middle,
The Start.

Don't let that purpose be tainted by
a white-washed, confused little heart.