Unintended Audiences

God woke me up super early this morning with these thoughts running through my mind, so I suppose they are to help someone out there who’s struggling. I hope this letter, or FB “note,” encourages everyone out there – intended and unintended audiences alike.

Unintended Audiences

                I’m sure it happens all the time in classrooms all around the world. Student A passes a note intended for Student B - only for it to be intercepted by the teacher. It’s actually quite the riot when the teacher is bold enough (and mean enough) to read the note in front of the entire classroom. It’s like a free pass into the secrets of that person’s life. The inner sanctum, if you will. The Holy of Holies, where everything is out in the open and raw before the presence of God and everyone else. But why, oh why, do people long (and maybe even love) to hear the content in the forbidden letters? Why do the unintended audiences gain more excitement from the note than the original audience? Because everyone (intended and unintended audiences alike) knows this fact to be true: Who people really are comes out in the notes they scribe.  Anyone can put on a “happy face,” wear their “big girl panties,” or simply act like they like such-and-such to the intended audiences, yet the real face, the real attitudes, and the real feelings always show through to our unintended audiences. The people that we never planned on watching our lives are all of a sudden shocked. Appalled, but now sorely (and unfortunately) interested in what will happen next in the heated drama of our lives.

                I say all that to admit: finding a note that was not intended for you is quite the intriguing classroom matter – especially when you’re the teacher of fourth-graders who start to blossom crushes upon one another in the spring time (Ahem, particularly the month of April). However, it’s a completely different story when the tables are turned and when the handwriting on the intercepted note is owned by you.  I know because it once happened to me. That’s right. Once.  To be honest, I wrote notes in school all throughout my middle and high school years and hardly ever (if ever) got caught. I maintained good grades and paid attention when necessary, so I thought I was doing alright. (Until I became a teacher and realized that I was “that student” as I was growing up. Hah.) But, the one time when my note was intercepted was when I was in the fifth grade. The sore details surrounding the situation come back to sadden me to this day.  I remember spending tons of time writing out a note to one of my little girl friends at school explaining all the reasons why we mutually did not like (and thus made fun of) another girl from our church. Surely, my note was well-crafted. The details? Precise and exact. The delivery? Not. So. much.

                I honestly don’t remember all the ins and outs of what happened with the note once it was intercepted. I only remember thinking, “There’s nothing wrong with the note. It’s honest. Nothing in it is a lie.” Even after I got caught, I still didn’t think there was anything wrong with my message. The only problem, in my mind, was the unintended audience. My school teacher wasn’t supposed to see that note. My friend’s parent wasn’t supposed to see that note. My parents weren’t supposed to see that note. Really, only one person should’ve seen that note, and all would’ve been right in my little fifth-grade world.

                Buuuut as oftentimes it does, the problem ran much deeper than that. The unintended audience? Yes, they were inconveniences to my plan, for sure. But the true problem with the note was its message, and it spoke louder than I had expected because, you see, it told the inner sanctum of who I was. Aaaaaand???? what it told didn’t exactly portray the same sweet little girl I had acted out to everyone else that I was. The result of that note was a domino effect of destruction. My heart was revealed. Opinions changed, and people were sad by me. My teacher said she’d never expected something like that from Rosemary Hill. My parents were shocked. Surprised. But mostly, they were sorely disappointed in the little girl they had raised to “know better than to do something like that.”

                As I write this, years (decades) later, the thought “what was I thinking?!” fills up my mind. Regret fills my heart. And tears fill up my eyes (literally). For that particular situation. For the fact that I did that oh-so-long ago. But I’m saddened not only for that; rather, I’m saddened for that fact that I’m still guilty of this two-facedness in some areas of my life today. Now, I know I’m not Catholic, and the people reading this aren’t my priests. The only confessions that need to be said are to the Lord in prayer, I know that. But I wonder…. Truly long to know….if someone, maybe anyone, could take my story of a great non-example and realize the impact you’re making on your unintended audiences. For you, it may be someone in close proximity to you, like…

… your kids/family watching and listening (when you think they are sleeping/not attentive).

… your co-worker who acts like he could care less about your “religion” (but is intently watching your lifestyle nonetheless).

…your Jesus (because you forget oh-so-often that He’s ever-present and always with you).

… or, quite possibly, it could be someone you never, ever expected or even dreamed about in your wildest dreams actually taking interest in the events of your life from-a-distance.

All that to say this…. Let me ask you (and myself) “If our life’s thoughts, feelings, attitudes, words, and actions were a series of little secret hand-written notes passed all around to our intended audiences and somehow were intercepted into the hands of unintended audiences, where would that leave the people in your life? Would they be shocked? Surprised? Sorely disappointed in who you are at the core? What stories would they be able to tell about you, and what would they say of your heart?”

Today, with your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, words, and actions, pass notes worth reading.

Your unintended audiences absolutely cannot wait to intercept them.

Guy's Guide to Winning a Woman's Heart

A Woman's Question
...
Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing
Ever made by the Hand above?
A woman's heart, and a woman's life---
And a woman's wonderful love.
Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing
As a child might ask for a toy?
Demanding what others have died to win,
With a reckless dash of boy.
You have written my lesson of duty out,
Manlike, you have questioned me.
Now stand at the bars of my woman's soul
Until I shall question thee.
You require your mutton shall always be hot,
Your socks and your shirt be whole;
I require your heart be true as God's stars
And as pure as His heaven your soul.
You require a cook for your mutton and beef,
I require a far greater thing;
A seamstress you're wanting for socks and shirts---
I look for a man and a king.
A king for the beautiful realm called Home,
And a man that his Maker, God,
Shall look upon as He did on the first
And say: "It is very good."
I am fair and young, but the rose may fade
From this soft young cheek one day;
Will you love me then 'mid the falling leaves,
As you did 'mong the blossoms of May?
Is your heart an ocean so strong and true,
I may launch my all on its tide?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she is made a bride.
I require all things that are grand and true,
All things that a man should be;
If you give this all, I would stake my life
To be all you demand of me.
If you cannot be this, a laundress and cook
You can hire and little to pay;
But a woman's heart and a woman's life
Are not to be won that way."
— Joshua Harris

"I'm not done yet"

“I’m not done yet”
Today, during Bible lesson with the kiddos, we discussed the betrayal of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane as part of our study on the “Easter Unit.” I explained that when Jesus was betrayed, he wasn’t shouting, screaming, fighting, or bickering…. He…. Was….Praying. By praying, he was showing us an example in the Garden of Gethsemane of what we should also do when we feel betrayed. Instead of just reading about prayer, God told me to lead the kids in a silent “prayer exercise.” First, the students were directed to pray for the person sitting next to them, then the ones that sat across from them….then, we prayed for families, best friends in the class, and THEN… (here’s the kicker), we prayed for our “enemies.” We indentified the ones that have betrayed us, in one way or another. We attempted to bless the ones that curse us, and we prayed for those that despitefully have (and will) use us. By this point, the students had been silent, and still, and had their eyes closed in prayer for a good long time. I figured the students were getting pretty restless (or disinterested), so I decided to wrap it up quickly by saying, “Ok, I’ll finish us out by praying aloud.” As soon as I said this, one of my students spoke out, “Wait! I’m not done yet.” At that point, I stopped. Smiled. And stood silent.
(I’ll be honest: At first, I thought, “Really?! You’re nine. How many ‘enemies’ could you possibly have by this point in the game of life?”)
But then it hit me.
So many times, especially when I find myself in situations concerning people that have hurt me, I feel like I rush on. I close up shop to think and reflect and pray upon it, and I readily move to the next thing. However, I must acknowledge the truth that nothing is an “accident.” Everything has a purpose. God teaches, molds, and uses everything we pry our hands away from.
Don’t rush on and miss the opportunities (through good and bad circumstances) that God sends you daily. Through all of your life’s situations, God might just be telling your heart what my student so readily shouted at me this morning: “Wait! I’m simply not done yet.”

The Alternate Reality of "What If"

The Alternate Reality of “What If”
Several famous people have written upon this alternate reality of “What If.” The first of which comes to mind is Coldplay’s song:
“What if there was no light.
Nothing wrong, nothing right.
What if there was no time?
And no reason or rhyme?
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side.
That you don't want me there in your life.

What if I got it wrong?
And no poem or song..
Could put right what I got wrong,
Or make you feel I belong
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life. “
Sad times, if someone chooses that “what if.” Yes? The second of which comes to mind is Rudyard Kipling’s poem:
“If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son! “
Good times if someone chooses that “what if.” Right?
Well, though this concept of “What If” or “If” has been popularized by many throughout the years, I would doubt to think that anyone would agree it’s a preferred method of living and thinking. Yet we’ve all been there before.  We think: “What if” this happened this way. “What if” that happened that way. “What if” that never happened at all. Though thoughts similar to those aforementioned linger through our minds and heart attitudes (especially during our more discontent or confusing moments of life), they produce nothing – simply because they fail the ability to do so. Relying on stock market of “what if’s” creates in you nothing more than a hope deferred, or worse yet, a false hope altogether. An alternate reality, if you will. A trap that deceives you into believing that adding or subtracting something from the life story God’s given you will make you feel better, act better, or become a better person, if you did things your way. It’s so false, yet it’s so prevalent in our human way of thinking.
All that to say this: while you and I could spend a whole lot of time and energy taking a mental hike through the “what if’s” of life, I challenge you (and myself) to simply focus on “what is.” And what’s more, focus on the God Who is over, on top of, and sovereignly in control of the “what is.”
As a child, I always remember singing a song in children’s church that went something like this: “He’s got the whole world in His hands. He’s got the whole world in His hands. He’s got the whole world in His hands. He’s got the whole world in His hands.” And last time I checked, that hasn’t changed. At all.
No matter what it is that invades your life – planned or unplanned – know that God’s got it all in His hands. Aaaaaand? He’s. more. Than. Capable. To. Handle. It. (pssstt….without your “what if’s”)
Stop setting up camp in the land of “what if.” Know that God has numbered your days. He's ordered the steps that you take. He has a divine purpose in every detail of your life. And love Him all the more for Who He is and whatever it is He plants in the soil of your dear little life. He may send sunshine. He may send rain. But He knows the final product from the beginning. He knows what’s growing while you’re struggling. Trust Him a little more with that today.

"Boys Will Be Boys."

Growing up with three brothers, I often heard the phrase "boys will be boys" repeated over and over again. Though I'd oftentimes heard it, I don't think I quite caught on to the full meaning of that phrase until today. Yes, that's right. Today.
You see, today I was invited. Welcomed, rather. To a place most girls don't venture to go. It's a modern day version of the Little Rascal's "HeMan-Woman-Haters club," if you will. Maybe some girls lack the desire to go (by the sheer mention of the name); but for most girls, they lack the courage to go. It's like it's a secret club-of-sorts, this place is. An all-boys club, in fact. An innocent "street gang." An inner sanctum. A place where laughter abides, and who knows what will end up on someone's french fries.

That's right. Today. I. Sat. At. The. Fourth-Grade. Boy's. Lunch. Table.
And I'm thankful I did.
Conversation ranged from Lady Gaga's latest styles, to what was for dessert, to innumerable jokes about bodily fluids, and a long list of "I dare you to eat (fill in the blank) concoctions." Though those boys had me laughing so hard that I nearly lost track of time, I must admit I had to execute the infamous "mom look" a handful of times. Because of that, I'm unsure I'll be requested back for round two tomorrow. Buuuut...
All of that to say......this:
I absolutely love "my boys."
I'm ever-so-greatful for my job.
And I'm thankful that, even in the smallest orchestrated moments of my life, I can experience sheer joy and a glimpse of God's oh-so-creative masterpeice by witnessing the truth and reality of that age-old phrase: "boys will be boys."