Jealousy of the Ideal

Jealousy of the Ideal

I’m sharing this with you because it’s something that just recently came into my life, ran across my mind, and has forced me to think deeply about it for a couple of days now. It’s something I’ve never, ever considered before, but something that is very true and worth thinking about it.

Just the other morning, I was reading a devotional by Charles Stanley (my husband has gotten me to absolutely LOVE his ministry and resources), and it was talking about the sin of jealousy. Now, I have a lot of other weak areas in my life, but jealousy really just isn’t one of them. Now, I’ll admit, there are times when, yes, I do look at what someone else has accomplished, attained, etc. and don’t automatically throw a “yay-for-them!” party in my mind. Sometimes, I wonder why God didn’t gift me with that ability, task, accomplishment, etc…. but I don’t dwell there. My mind doesn’t park in the lot of “I want what she has.” For one, it’s just not healthy. And for two, it’s a serious waste of fuel. Ultimately, when your mind is parked somewhere like that, the scenery doesn’t change; you’re sincerely going nowhere fast.

Thankfully for my sake, the devotional didn’t stop at the sin of jealousy concerning wanting what others have and leave me trailing off into my day thinking my life was perfect-a-mundo and everything within my heart and mind was hunky-dory; rather, the devotional began to talk about jealousy of the ideal. And here’s where jealousy trips me up every time. No other person has to be involved in this transaction-of-the-heart, mind, and attitude. Jealousy of the ideal simply creeps in long enough to look at what you currently have, compare it to what-was or what-could-be or what-might-have-been, and leave you feeling like you deserve more. Sadly, this happens far more than we give ourselves credit (debit?) for. In the words of Charles Stanley, the thought process behind jealousy of the ideal goes something like this, “I deserve more than You’ve provided, and therefore, I don’t trust that You truly give me Your best.”

Wow!

And ouchy-boo-boo.

If that quote didn’t sting a little when you first read it, be my guest and re-read it. Hey, if you’ve got the time to spare, re-re-re-read it until it marinates in your mind and sinks into your soul. I know that’s what I’ve been doing lately.

And while we’re talking about it, the use of the word “deserve” in that quote really struck a chord with me. Hasn’t God already given us so much more than we’ll ever, ever, ever deserve? We need to remember that. I need to remember that and stop being a brat about all this other nonessential-and-very-temporal stuff.

I want to make sure that my words and thoughts don’t further distract from that powerful statement by Charles Stanley; so, to wrap this up quickly, I’ll just leave you with this:

What in your (our) lives is so flashy, needed, important, impressive, fill-in-the-blank, etc. that it robs us of trusting God for His best? The answer should be nothing. Absolutely nothing. But, honestly, what is it for you, right now, today? Search it out and lift it up to Him. Whatever “it” is, it’s not worth robbing you of your trust-relationship with the Lord.

Next time you’re (we’re) struggling with jealousy of the ideal (situation, relationship, career, opportunity, etc.), remember that God loves you and has already given you absolutely everything He sees fit that you need.

When we fully grow to trust Him, jealousy of the ideal is erased and we’re left holding the only thing in the world that’s truly ideal anyway – our trust in an unshifting Savior in the midst of an ever-shifting-world-of-circumstances. :)

This Christmas/holiday season, forget about mere happiness and gift yourself some joy by exchanging the jealousy of the ideal for full-on, for real trust in God’s ultimate best. 

House Rules: Rosemary's Reminders and Rules of Real (unconventional) Hospitality

House Rules

To start, I’m very type A and borderline OCD about the neatness of my house. Everything has its place. I have all my DVDs alphabetized and one day would love to alphabetize all the books on my shelf, by author, subject, title, etc. However, I’m writing this post to myself as a future reminder to reference and to whomever else just happens to be reading it as well.

I’m tired of making mental excuses for why people can’t just pop in and out of my house for mutual encouragement and community in the Lord.  Now, I’m a huge advocate for family time, probably more than most people are. If something isn’t helpful for all members of our family or simply doesn’t fit into our family’s schedule, we choose family time over that event, invite, etc. I think family time should be guarded and valued, but I also think our homes should also have a sense of openness to those God places in our lives as well. As I’ve been thinking about this particular subject, the lyric of a Mandisa song (yeah, haven’t listened to Mandisa in a looong time, so not sure where that random reference came in) comes to mind: “What if We were Real.” Authenticity. That’s what people are looking for, searching for, and longing for, actually. Authentic relationships are what spring out of hospitality done right, where the main things are kept the main things and everything else is just there.

A lot of what is written below is a tad bit sassy. Some of it is meant in jest, so read it in good humor, without jumping up to take offense. All of it, however, is true. Let’s not lower the standard for what is acceptable; rather, let’s work together to put the most importance back on the most important part(s) of life and allow all the rest to be what they are.

Without further ado, here’s a list I’m entitling “Rosemary’s Reminders and Rules of Real (unconventional) Hospitality”:

1.     Hospitality is (should be!) a matter of the condition of one’s heart, not one’s home.

2.     Family comes first. If you haven’t honored your family with the gift of your presence, quality time, kindness, forgiveness, whatever it is they need from you, etc., then you aren’t appropriately prepared to honor guests in your home. Honor family first in as many ways as possible. Honor others with the overflow.

3.     Don’t apologize for the condition of your home to your guests. You live that way, so you must be comfortable in it. Stop apologizing for or explaining away your way of life to guests in your home. They don’t know you or your life behind closed doors. They aren’t tracking the minutes of your day. Explanations are frivolous information to them. Apologies are ridiculous and set a weird train of thought in the mind of your guests (Guests may think, “Do I remark how great the place looks anyway? Do I tell them my house looks worse, even though it doesn’t?” etc...)

4.     If you do still feel an overwhelming need to apologize or explain away the condition or cleanliness of your home, do it to your family members. They’re the ones that live there. They are the real guests of honor.  Just because they live there daily doesn’t make them less honorable; it makes them more honorable. Also, don’t be shy to enlist their help to make changes around the home, if needed. After all, if it isn’t your mess, it’s probably theirs to deal with in the first place anyway. Haha. But for real though. Think about it.

5.     Your house should not be magazine clean. Period. If you want a magazine clean house, don’t be surprised when you get magazine clean friends. (i.e. ones that comment briefly on how they love everything in your house, then throw you away when next month’s edition comes out) Ok, that came off sounding harsh. All I meant by it was this – an over-focus on surface-y issues will produce surface-y relationships and friendships.. There’s nothing wrong with having nice things and taking care of them, just choose wisely what you put all of your focus on.

6.     Guests don’t come over to your house solely for a meal. They go to restaurants for that. They come over for the community and the mutual encouragement in the Lord that you, your household, and your home environment provide. Spend more time readying your heart before the Lord, asking Him to put a watch over your words and attitude, than you spend on preparing the meal.

7.     Embrace humor. Not humor at others’ expense. Not humor that is in the popular TV shows and media, that often makes light of God’s design and God’s commands. Rather, if the meal doesn’t go as planned, be ready to tell guests that Thursday nights at 6 p.m. are when you regularly check the smoke detectors in the house and that you’re glad they could join in on this weekly family tradition. Or that charcoal black isn’t just slimming in the fashion industry; it’s also been proven to have slimming effects in the culinary arts arena as well. You get the idea.

8.     Laundry. Everyone has stacks of it laying around their house on any given day – even on “laundry day” during that miraculous 20 minutes where every clothing and linen item in the house is clean, including the items you’re currently wearing. I’m definitely not saying to air your dirty laundry in front of others; but at the same time, don’t try to do weird things with it - like shove it in the pantry – when guests come over. We all know that everyone wears clothes and underwear everyday, so don’t try to be super-human about it. If you’re not wearing clothes and underwear everyday, that’s your prerogative too (and some information for a completely separate blog for another day/time). It just makes guests ask more (mental) questions than ever.

9.     Dishes in the sink. They’re there. Because we eat on them. Three, if not more, times a day. Yes, we wash them. Daily, even. But then we eat again. We like to eat. It sustains our lives. We don’t like to do the dishes. Our lives will be sustained quite easily without doing the dishes. We can go for quite the while with the rinse, leave in the sink, and move-on-with-our-lives method with our dishes. Sometimes, our sinks (yes, both of them) tend to get full by incorporating this method as a go-to routine in our family life. We’re okay with that. We hope you are too. If you’re not okay with it, you’re welcome to wash the dishes in our sink, at any given time, for us. We won’t be offended if you do, but we’re guessing you won’t touch our dishes. We’re betting your sink has the same amount of dishes. Calling your name. At your house. Right now.

10. Breastfeeding. I’m a stay-at-home, breastfeeding mom. Which means I stay at home and breastfeed my child. (I do a hundred million other things, too, but this is the one I’m focusing on for the moment.) Let’s face it. We all get cranky when we’re hungry. At my house we call it hangry (angry+hunger). My newborn (okay, almost 4 month old) is no exception. She gets hungry. She gets cranky. She gets hangry. And when she does, I feed her in the most natural, God-given way possible. I realize that I don’t have to do it in front of you. I could though. After all, I have a cover that was purchased for me from my baby registry for times like that. But no worries. To lessen the uncomfortableness for all, I have many other rooms in my house that I can excuse myself and my baby to while guests are here. And I just may have to do that. So be patient, please. Help yourself to anything in the fridge while you wait. Or, again, those dishes in the sink haven’t gone anywhere in a while. Be my guest. :0) No matter what you do in the downtime, we can all agree: nobody likes a hangry baby. First things first.

11.  Prayer. And I’m not just talking about the prayer around the dinner table to thank God for the food, fun, and fellowship, although that’s a given in our household. One much older couple friend of our family has taught me this by example: Pray over those who frequent your house upon their departure. This basically means that once the evening is coming to a close, you pray for the guests who have graciously visited your house. You can pray with them and for them, or you can pray over them and do it once they leave, if you’re more comfortable with that. Either way, lift up your friends in prayer – real, heart-wrenching prayer for them, their family, their struggles, and their spiritual needs.

12.  Hospitality is a Biblical pursuit. Here’s just a few examples:

Romans 12:13 “contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality”

1 Peter 4:9 “Be hospitable to one another without complaint.”

And these ones…. Which take hospitality to a whole new level… and which would require another blog for another time… :0)

Hebrews 13:2 “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.”

Romans 12:20 “But if your enemy Is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing, you will heap burning coals on his head.”


*BONUS* 13. If you choose to play board games with your guests, keep in mind that it truly doesn't matter who wins and who loses. Unless it's your husband that loses, then it matters a great deal. ;0)

All in all, hospitality is for mutual encouragement, keeping the main things the main things, and giving honor where honor is due. Next time, remember this and don't get lost in the trap of making essentials out of nonessential, inconsequential, temporal matters.

 What other reminders/rules would you add to this list?

Standstill Traffic, Screaming Babies, and Something to Blog About

So I’ve been thinking for quite a while now that it’s about time I blog again. You see, it’s been a while, and I’ve sort of missed it.  ~But I have a newborn.~

There’s something freeing-and-stress-relieving to me about writing. ~But I have a newborn.~

I feel like God teaches me a lot when I take time to sit down and write about the events in my life. ~But I have a newborn.~

Lately, it’s been difficult to really come up with anything to blog about, because, you see, I have a newborn. And, well…. life truly consists of diaper changes, feedings, and structuring life around the idea and phrase “I have a newborn.”

I think you get the idea by now. But it’s totally and completely true. A newborn trumps everything on your to do list. Everything. Every. thing. E.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

No matter what you have planned, your sweet little one will make sure to unplan it and reschedule it for you. For another time. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow-in-18-years. But whatever it is – the thing(s) you had planned to do today – it’s not happening. So you may as well forgetaboutit. (insert baby smile and sweet-baby-coo here)

For a planner like me, this can become a wee bit unnerving at times and just-plain-exhausting at others.

…hang on to that thought of planning for a sec, and go here with me….

I’m very unsure if it’s God-given or self-driven or a weird mixture of the two, but I have this thing where I absolutely do not like hearing my baby cry. In fact, I do everything in my power to make sure she doesn’t cry. Ever. I mean never, ever. (I’ll admit I might even be a little hypersensitive about it.) Some may call that “spoiling a baby.” I like to refer to it as “proactive parenting” or “paying attention to details.” No matter what you label it, let’s be real, no one really wants to listen to that all the time. {Not even the baby doing it.} So, in everyone’s best interest, I make sure my baby doesn’t cry. Ever. Pretty realistic of me, right?

With all said, I found myself in quite-the-*unplanned*-little-situation today. It involved standstill traffic, a scream-crying baby-in-the-backseat, and now: something to blog about. [Ta-da!]

After spending an enjoyable morning at a friend’s house, I proceeded to come home with hopes and plans of getting baby Hannah to sleep in the car along the way home, cook some lunch for myself while she was sleeping-still-in-the-carseat (wishful thinking), and be ready-and-peaceful at home for Jeff to come see us on his lunch hour.

All was going according to plan until I reached Wards Road. For those of you not familiar with Lynchburg, Wards Road is like one of the main stretches in town. Every place you could want to eat and/or shop is located off of Wards Road. With two lanes in and two lanes out, it’s also your freeway to freedom from Lynchburg and gateway into the glorious county, which is where we now live. So there we are, turning the corner onto Wards Road, and what do you know.

Standstill traffic.

Standstill. Traffic.

Stand. Still. Traffic.

Traffic that is literally standing still.

No movement.

No attempt at movement.

No one even seemingly concerned at the no attempt at movement.

(I’m certain if this was occurring in Jacksonville, I would’ve seen some road rage… or worse.)

But not in Lynchburg. Well, actually, the county.

No one really seemed to mind the delay. Ahem, the dead stop.

No one minded except me.

Why?

(insert famous new-found-phrase) You got it. “I have a newborn.”

Precious and sweet as she is, said-newborn decided that this would be the most excellent time to try out her lung capacity and test if she really had the ability to cry or not (remember, I never “let” her cry) all within the very confined space between the four small walls of a Nissan Frontier.

I tried everything I could try, while managing to keep my foot on the brake and one hand on the steering wheel- just in case we decided to go somewhere anytime soon.

When I say I tried everything, I mean it.

I. Tried. Everything.

Talking to baby.

Looking at baby through rearview and baby mirrors.

Rubbing baby’s head.

Binky in, binky out, binky in again.

Dropped binky.

New binky found. Repeat.

Soothing worship music.

Loud soothing worship music.

Louder soothing worship music.

Super soft worship music.

Desperate prayer time. “God, You’ve gotta do something here. Get me out of this situation.”

Giving up.

Resigning to my lot in life.

Tears.

Mommy tears. (because they’re bigger and more meaningful than regular tears)

Sincerely not understanding why God didn’t answer my desperate heart-prayer and get me out of this situation. Pronto. Stat.

And then, guess what?

Movement!

Not only movement in the front, but also movement on the right side lane as well.

Although traffic began to move, all was obviously not quite back to normal because people began 

*try* to merge into one lane. My lane.

You guessed it.

I didn’t let anyone in front of me.

I was that girl.

That driver.

That mom with a scream-crying babe in the backseat.

As people tried to merge in and I refused, I got some stares.

But those people don’t know me.

They don’t know my life.

They didn’t know that I HAVE A NEWBORN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

And quite literally, my newborn WAS crying out loud.

And louder.

And louder and louder, by the minute, too, if we want to get technical about it.

Just as I started to pick up speed and make some headway through the traffic (by ignoring all the turn 

signals into my lane), my sweet baby Hannah calmed down and had managed to throw herself into a fitful NAP.

As the calm was coming to my nearly-20-minutes-of-fame mommy-meltdown-storm, I looked to my immediate right.

Saw a litter of people standing around, just shooting the breeze. (Some looking more upset than others.)

A handful of cars. (One smashed to smither’eens.)

Precisely, two cop cars.

One ambulance.

A bunch of lights flashing.

And a still small voice yanking away my soul, “This is why I had you wait back there. I always have your best interest in mind.”

As I looked in my rearview mirror again, my precious newborn was sleeping-like-a-baby. Literally. And all was right in my world again, but my perspective had been altered.

You see, twenty minutes in a car with a screaming child isn’t an eternity; although in-the-moment, it surely felt like it. 

On the flip side, had I been traveling twenty minutes earlier, I could’ve beat the standstill traffic, yes. But I also could’ve been the cause of it. 

In stark honesty, I could’ve been the one with the smashed-up car. Who knows, I could’ve even met my eternity in-that-moment.

God saw fit to give me something today that I never would have planned for myself.

It wasn’t easy to handle. God’s tests to us never are.

But He’s faithful, and He always sees us through to the other side.

No matter what else happens today and what does or doesn’t get crossed off the ever-growing to do list, I can know this much is true:

God can be trusted. Even when He hands you something difficult to go through or something different than what you had planned, you never know what all He’s saving you from.

At the end of the day, I can gladly say I endured traffic with a scream-crying child. I was thoroughly-and-completely rescued from a wreck of what might-have-been-me.

And I (still) have my newborn.


Thank you, Jesus, for standstill traffic, screaming babies, and something to blog about.

Showers of Blessings

Note: This post will be short (I have a newborn!). sweet. to-the-point; and hopefully, it'll encourage you to move to action.

Rainy days are the perfect time to stay inside, clean out your closets/drawers, discover how excessive your goods and blessings are, and then use those items to donate and bless others! If you're with me, here's two organizations I recommend!

#1. www.lovepackages.org  - This is a new one I just found out about (for anyone to donate). They take donations of Bibles, Bible studies, and a variety Bible resources, etc. to send overseas to missionaries and other organizations to people who don't have as ready access to the Gospel and Gospel study aides as we have here in America. And really, who doesn't have a ton of extras of these resources lying around their houses that aren't even being used?

#2. www.freethegirls.org - This one I have given to for years (for women only to donate). They take gently used bras of all kinds and sizes and use them to help enable women to have jobs/income and a way of escape out of the human trafficking industry.

It's amazing what God can and will do with our generosity! Just as God rains down blessings on our lives, let's use today's rainy day (here in Campbell County anyway) to plan/prepare to bless others!

If these organizations aren't for you, that's cool too. Tell me: What are some organizations you like to give to? Post a comment or link to the website here or on Facebook... I'm always looking for new opportunities to rid my life of excess and help others simultaneously!

On the Move

Lately, everything seems to be in constant motion. Well, it doesn't just seem. It is. Everything in my current life is in constant motion.

Do you ever have seasons of life like that?

I’m sure each one of us could point to a certain time, place, or season of our lives where everything just keeps moving.

Perhaps, you’re there – in that season – right now. This. Very. Moment.

I’m right there with ya.

So, allow me to make this brief-ish:

1. Everything in my life is literally in-boxes-and-moving-across-town (God has so blessed Jeff and I recently with the ability to purchase and successfully close on a townehouse, so my life is all packing boxes and supervising, as I sit around with my preggo self and watch my sweet husband move boxes from room to room and from apartment to townehouse… don’t worry, we’re not in a rush to move…we’re enjoying daily trips of moving to and daydreaming in our new house together… and we will be seeking out the help of others soon for all the furniture and “big stuff” haha)… Plus, he’s enjoying all the manual labor and the extra WOD’s (workouts of the day). Seriously, he is.  :)

2. Not only that, but also, everything literally within my body is moving too. To spare you some details, I’ll just say this: Hannah Grace is pretty active and strong. (Actively strong? Strongly active?) So active, in fact, that Jeff prayed for her strength and health at the breakfast table the other morning. After prayer, I promptly (and kindly) told him to stop praying for so much strength for Hannah. Her kicks, rolls, head butts, and punches are evidence that that specific prayer has already been fully answered. Haha. I’m truly thankful to the Lord that He’s growing her and making her strong and healthy. But there truly is only so much beating a little mama’s belly can take in one day’s/night’s timing. (Is it weird that the intensity of it caused me to video it for memories to show her one day?)

3. Not only are things on the outside (and the inside) moving, but I would be truly remiss if I didn’t acknowledge the much deeper, more eternal, spiritual movings in my life as well. God is on the move. Amidst the busyness. In spite of the busyness. Because of the busyness. Hovering above and seeping all throughout the busyness. (Really, however you want to look at it, God is moving within in all.)

For those of you that know me well, you know that I always like to equate seasons, events, circumstances, and relationships in my life with an attribute of God that I feel He is currently teaching me. For this season of busyness and sheer excitement, I’m relating it to the lavish love that God has specifically for each one of us.

I’m currently reading through 1, 2, and 3 Johns and doing a Bible study by Kelly Minter called “What is Love,” and today she reminded me of the first part of 1 John 3:1, which says, “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.”  The only way we have any standing with God at all is because of His lavish love for us. His living, active, pursuing, on-the-move type of love. He loves us as a dear father loves his children. Though I haven’t experienced parenthood yet, I’m certain it contains an indescribable kind of love (and sacrifice).

Kelly Minter also shared this little gem, John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” With Easter approaching, it’s especially imperative to stop all the movement and busyness for a while and rest by thinking about how God’s love for us is so vast and lavish that He sent Jesus to rescue us from our sins and adopt us into His family forever.

And last but not least, this morning’s devotion led to this passage: I John 3:17 “But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?” Because of God’s great love and Christ’s great sacrifice, we gain everything we couldn’t attain on our own, yet everything we need and have/will always long for. As children of God, we need to mirror and duplicate this love to those around us. Merely look for practical ways in your daily interactions and listen for needs in your friends/family/acquaintance circle to accomplish this. You’ll be surprised how truly easy it is to find needs to fill all around you.

No matter what is “on the move” in your life – even if feels like nothing or it’s truly everything all at once – remember that God, in His lavish love for each one of us, is moving amidst the daily ins and outs of your life and mine. Sometimes, He’s center stage and sometimes He’s working behind the scenes, but He’s always working somehow.

He is love.

And love is active.

Therefore, He, in His great pursuing love for us, is on the move.

For me, this reminder causes me to do two very simple yet life-changing things:

1.     Look up in constant, wow-ing thankfulness for all He’s done and all He’s doing.

2.     Look around for practical needs of others to fill, daily.

I just wonder, how does this reminder change your outlook on the busy season of your life? What practices of eternal importance could you set in motion in your life amidst your here-and-now “on the move” stage of life? How could this time be truly bringing you closer to God and the realization of His workings in your life?

Dropping the Mask (of Organization, Perfectionism, Minimalism, etc.)

If you know me well, you know that I tend to be hyper-organized, somewhat of a perfectionist, and newly borderline minimalist. While these are not necessarily bad traits to have, they most definitely have a tendency to become like overgrown weeds in a garden and take the life and beauty out of their entire surroundings. (Cue: The Lion King where Mufasa tells Simba, "Everything the light touches is yours." Yup, that's the far-reaching extent of these positive-traits-potentially-gone-wrong.)

Add on top of those factors the fact that I'm an optimist through-and-through, and you easily have a recipe for disaster that is never fully recognized or remedied. What really stopped me in my tracks and made me start thinking about the issue of these so-called "positive traits" in my life actually holding me back spiritually was a simple phrase my pastor said a few weeks ago. (At first, it may not sound at all related, but bare with me for a moment.) He said, "Jesus gives us eternal life AND abundant life right now."

(I know, I know, it doesn't sound related at all...)
Let's back up a moment to gain some context on all this:

Now, I don't know about you, but with my upbringing, I definitely understood at a young age that Jesus died to give me eternal life. Thankfully, I was raised in a loving Christian home, a Christian school, and a Southern Baptist church that all readily taught and reinforced in me that concept from a young age. However, though the part about Jesus giving us eternal life was "old hat" to me, the part that really stuck with me from my pastor's quote a few weeks ago was the "Jesus gives us abundant life right now" part. Somehow, along the weekly shuffle from Bible class at school to Sunday school all throughout my childhood, I severely missed the parts of Jesus longing for a daily, personal relationship with me. Or maybe I heard it, but I didn't understand exactly what that meant. Or didn't know exactly how to apply it. In all honesty, at school, I oftentimes was verbally given check-listed things that a "good Christian little girl" would and should do; discussions about the Holy Spirit's existence (let-alone-His-workings-in-my-life) were skimpy, sketchy, or exempted altogether; and man-made attempts at perfectionism and humanistic moralism soon filled in the gaps to take His rightful place. {Later in my young adult life and college years, I experienced a very difficult time that God used as an opportunity to introduce me to John 10:10b... "I am come that you might have life and that you may have it more abundantly."}

But, if you fast forward to today and the same problem still remains.

In fact, in my many years working of with children in various settings (church, school, etc.) since my own childhood, I've listened carefully and often experienced the same speech  (and it oftentimes goes something like this...) "Jesus died on the cross for your sins and rose the third day, so you could go to Heaven and spend eternity with Him. He loves you so much that He doesn't want to spend eternity without you."

Though this sounds good and right and fair at first listen, it's not all-the-way-accurate. And in my opinion, if you're not telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth (so help you, God), then you're not being upfront and honest. With anyone. At all.

In other words, I would like to enter my commentary-of-thoughts (when I hear someone presenting the Gospel to kids in this way):

"Woah. Woah. Woah. Nope. Please stop right there. You're missing the actual point of salvation altogether. Back up, and let's try that again."

Yes, Jesus died on the cross for all of our sins.
Yes, Jesus rose again on the third day.
Yes, Jesus does love us very much.
And yes, Jesus doesn't want to spend eternity separate from us.

So, what's the problem with that (you may be asking)?

Jesus didn't die on the cross for our sins so we could go to Heaven and spend eternity with Him. That's a by-product of His grace. A light at the end of the tunnel, if you will. A reward that follows a life of righteousness hidden in and built upon the life of Christ and transformed by yielding to the divine work of the Holy Spirit.
-BUT-
He died so we could be transformed by daily walking and talking with Him. Completely die to our old life. And live a new life with full dependence upon His Holy Spirit. In other words, John 10:10b says it best as Jesus speaks in His own words, "I am come that you may have life and that you may have it more abundantly."

If that's true (and it is!), then I oftentimes wonder and ask myself these very difficult-yet-very-honest questions:
Why is my prayer life stale sometimes? 
Why does my Bible reading become so check-listed and routine?
Why do I sometimes read my Bible to merely escape the guilt that accompanies not reading it, as opposed to reading it for the sake of adoring and loving the Author of it? 
Why does my Bible memorization gravitate towards well-familiar verses and passes I learned in grade school? 
Why is it so difficult to tell my neighbors about Jesus, the biggest change agent in my life?
What-in-the-world is soooo "important" that it keeps me continually busy-and-preoccupied-away from growing daily in my relationship with Jesus?

And those are just a few thoughts and questions to get the honesty-snowball rolling. (I'm sure each of you could add some of your own soul-searching-questions-of-honesty in there as well.)

Perhaps, it's because I have allowed all of these humanly perceived "positive traits" in my life to take precedence over the truly important traits, the traits that breed spiritual abundance.

With all said, as I continue to "grow up," I'm growing in my spiritual life, learning how to apply these things practically, and teach them accurately as I prepare to have children of my own one day (in approx. 78 days, actually).

To recap and attempt to bring everything full circle: My attempts at organization, perfectionism, and minimalism are not bad traits, but they have a tendency to become highly-and-addictively sinful when my aim and focus becomes fixated upon using those traits and means to achieve/overachieve on man-made standards or impress people by following man-made rules. In essence, those traits (or any others for that matter) are exactly what have the tendency to crowd out the Holy Spirits' work in our lives and morph it into a task far-more-difficult and a work completely of our own making, instead of the beautiful love relationship chalk full of abundant life that it was originally intended to be.

Quite frankly: check-listed Christianity is a tightrope to walk, and I'm weary of living in light of the fear of the fall. The mask of hiding behind all my best-laid plans and human-made attempts has been dropped (and hopefully, shattered). So, with freed hands, a peaceful mind, and a freed heart, I can now honestly live out the old church song that goes, "I will arise and go to Jesus. He will embrace me in His arms. I will arise and go to Jesus.... in His arms are 10,000 charms."

Don't miss out on 10,000 charms, simply because your hands are full of masks of your own making. No matter how "positive" some things in your life may seem, appear, or be labeled as innocent, take some time to do a soul-searching inventory. Spend some alone time with Jesus, and allow His Holy Spirit to give you abundant life right now, starting today.

Yes, it's true that Jesus loves you so much that He doesn't want to spend eternity without you. But guess what? Your "eternity" includes right now.

Drop the mask (of whatever it is) you're currently holding onto. Embrace the abundant life He died to give you.

The Blessing, Stressing, and Plain-Old Impressing of Hospitality

Out of my life’s story…

         As some of you may already know, Jeff and I have recently been looking for houses to buy here in Lynchburg. We go through phases of daily searching, searching, searching Zillow and the local MLS; email-conversing on and off with a local realtor; attending open houses (ok, so we went to one already…hah); and spending many, many, many a Saturday mornings and/or afternoons going on scouting adventures and participating in our own concoction of neighborhood-watch parties (a.k.a. driving around-and-around the neighborhood to see if it “feels safe” to one day live there… We’ve actually gotten fairly good at reading each other’s queues on this one. We’ve done this so often that we’ve gotten to the point where no words need to be said to one another. Just one look, or one quick lock of the car doors, signals that we most likely will not be buying in that particular neighborhood.)

         With all said, we truly go back and forth on this idea of buying a house. On some days, we do all of the aforementioned activities (reasoning that our family is quickly outgrowing our 2 bedroom apartment), and we are hopeful that something – not just anything, but that one special place – will show up for us. On other days, we look around our quaint-little-apartment place, compare it with all the places we don’t want to live, creatively look for ways to “make it work” where we are, and resolve to be content.

         On many occasions, Jeff and I have stopped ourselves in the midst of the process and asked ourselves some deep-down-honest questions. What exactly do we want to buy a house for? As we explore this question in conversation together, we always default to this: we so want to use our God-given resources for God-glorifying ministry. With that as our foundation, we go on to discuss out and dream up all the possibilities of what that may look like on a practical scale. Buy a townhouse to rent at a discounted rate to seminary students or a ministry-minded young family, should we ever leave the Lynchburg area? Buy a house with a big, open floor plan and use the extra space to be a blessing of hospitality to those we know and to invite over some extras that we have yet to get-to-know. ? Buy a house with extra bedroom/bathroom and invite a missionary family on leave to come stay/live with us for a certain period of time? (I’m sure the time we spend together would be a mutual give-and-take blessing.) As you can see, the possibilities are truly endless.

         One day, I made a remark – something along the lines of waiting to get a new house in order to be hospitable – and my sweet man corrected me on that line of thought. He gently reminded me that we don’t need a house to be faithful in the area of hospitality or personal ministry and that we should be careful to be faithful in those areas right now, right here, in our little ole’ apartment.

         When my husband made those comments to me, I doubt he intended them to be profound. I think he was just making an honest observation and sharing his heart with me on the matter. But after taking in his line of reasoning, I began to think more and more about it…

         No matter the geographical location or amount of space Jeff and I have to call our “house,” I soon realized that a “house” is simply a tool. A venue. A set of materials that God provides for a certain time/place/space in our lives for us to use to minister to others. Quite different and yet deeper still, our “home” is the environment, the culture, the pace/tone we set of loving and accepting others God places into our path – and that, my friend, can truly be anywhere, if we are open and ready to see and seize the opportunities that lie all around us (and oftentimes, right in front of our very eyes!).

         In essence, through the process of house-hunting, I’m not only getting exposed to certain places of town that no one should live in (ever), but I’m also learning valuable lessons about contentment and starting/cultivating a ministry of hospitality exactly where I am. And exactly right now. (Ok, so who wants to come over at 6 for dinner tonight?)

         Most of all, I’m learning that a townhouse. A house. Our apartment. Any structure that houses an able and willing heart will do. For it’s not the structure, but the contents of the structure that matters. Namely, the character and compassion of its residents that matter the most.

Out of my life’s story… and into yours.

With all said, let me bring some practical application into all the madness-that-is-my-long-narrative-storytelling:

         Not long after that conversation with Jeff, I read an article from a Christian magazine on home décor that confirmed that what he was telling me was oh-so-true. One phrase in the entire article particularly jumped out at me. It read, “Does your home bless or just impress?” (source: SetApartGirl magazine)

{Note: the use of the word

“home” versus “house,”

see above for more details

concerning the difference

between the two :) }

Some back-story to-explain-the-point: When I used to tutor first graders in reading and then went on to teach fourth graders for six years, I remember sometimes introducing new words in groups or in what we would call “families.” So, in due fashion, let me introduce three words (concerning hospitality) in a word “family” to you. They are as follows:

-Blessing

-Stressing

-Impressing

Not only do these three words have similar endings, but they’re also grouped in a word “family” together because much like a family, these three words often travel together.

To explain, let me ask you this: When you’re getting ready to host a big social event in your home, or you’re even just preparing to have a handful of guests/friends in your home, which of these three words strikes you the most?

Do you automatically see the opportunity as a blessing to minister to those people God has placed in your life?

Do you automatically start stressing at the idea/thought of all the work to get done around the house, the amount of cleaning and preparing required, the extent/style/beauty of décor around the house, the temperature/smell/lighting/ambiance, the quality of the home-cooked meal you’re slaving over, the quantity of conversations-to-be-had, etc? (Can you tell how my mind races, traces, and retraces over these kinds of thoughts as well?)

Do you automatically kick into impressing mode, pulling out all the cloth napkins, finest china, etc.? (Ok, maybe that’s not your style and that’s okay, but let me ask you this: Do you prepare more for guests, so that they feel more special and welcomed in your home than your family does on a regular basis? Let. That. One. Sink. In. For just a moment.)

{No one needs me or anyone else to tell them this, but we all sometimes need that gentle reminder that hospitality-of-the-heart should start in our homes with those that frequent it the most often (a.k.a. our families). Anything we do for our guests should be a simple extension of that, not a replacement for or a one-upper of that. If you’re anything like me, we have some work to do in this area.}

         With all said, take some inventory of where you stand on this issue, where you could change, and how your improvement in this area could be most pleasing to the Lord while simultaneously being the biggest blessing to those relationships and friendships that God has graciously entrusted into your life, friendship, and care.

         An older, wiser friend of mine once shared a quote with me that went something like this: “If you came to see my house, make an appointment. If you came to see me, come right on in!” And that, in my mind, pretty much encapsulates it all. Take the stressing and impressing right out of the idea of hospitality, and what are you left with? Blessing. Exactly what God intended it to be all along. No matter what kind of house you live in, start today by cultivating a home that longs to bless others in the same fashion God has so richly blessed you and yours.

         If you’ve made it to the end of reading this incredibly long blog and want to challenge me in this area, invite yourself over to dinner one night soon. I pray our time together will be a mutual blessing for all involved. :) And don't worry, I'll be sure to return the favor and opportunity to growth for you as well. ;)