Observations on Thankfulness

This morning, I was reading Luke 1:39-45. Here, the story picks up with Elizabeth who is pregnant 6 months with John the Baptist. In this passage, she meets Mary who is already pregnant with Jesus.

Two things I noticed about Elizabeth in this passage.

One, in verse 43, Elizabeth says, "And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me?"

Notice her humility. Notice how overwhelmed with joy and thankfulness that she has at getting this opportunity.

That said, Elizabeth knows her place before God. She knows herself in relationship to God. She knows she's not worthy to be chosen for this, and her only response is one filled with joy and thankfulness.

Two, in verse 45, Elizabeth blesses Mary for believing in what was told to her from the Lord. She blesses Mary for her faith. Notice Elizabeth was able to bless Mary out of the abundance of thankfulness of her own heart towards God.

Elizabeth knew God.
She knew herself in relationship to God.
She knew she was unworthy - yet - responded (not with shame, guilt, or despondency) with thankfulness and joy.
Elizabeth was filled up with God and what He had done for her.

Then, and only then, was Elizabeth positioned to bless Mary.

Our words come from our hearts. When our hearts are filled up with a right view of God, Godly responses and natural blessing to others flows out.

Elizabeth could have gone so many different ways in this account. She could have felt prideful like she earned the right to carry John the Baptist or entitled like she deserved it. She could have even forfeited her own joy and thankfulness and exchanged it for jealousy of Mary because she got to carry the Son of God. Oftentimes, pride, entitlement, and jealousy those are traps we can fall into when we have been blessed by God or when someone else close to us has seemingly been blessed more than us.

 Today, let's all press in and follow Elizabeth's lead. Let's take time to respond to God in humility with sincere joy and thankfulness for all He's done for us that we plainly and simply do not deserve. Let's be overwhelmed and taken-a-back at all He's done for us. But let's not stop there:As a natural result and out of the overflow, let's bless those around us.

When we're right with the Lord, pride, entitlement, and jealousy have no place. There's only room for joy, thankfulness, and blessings for ourselves and others. Let's walk in that today, ladies.

"Mama, I have big ears!"

(Note: This is a delayed post. This article was originally written in mid-March 2020.)

So this week has taken a huge turn of events from what-was-planned, both in my little blog world and my little sliver of the real world. Just a week or two ago, I was sitting at my breakfast table, looking at our dry erase calendar on the fridge, and telling my husband how March looked so-thankfully-slow compared to previous months because we didn't have anything scheduled. Well - while still true that we have no place to be - it's easy to long to be anywhere else right now instead of a in house with two sick toddlers. Hope has an ear infection, and poor sweet Hannah has an ear infection, conjunctivitis of the eyes, and Flu type A that the doctor said has almost gone into pneumonia. Add on to that all the mommy guilt I have for not taking her to the doctor faster than when I did, and the nagging thought, "Would she be better off if I had taken her sooner?" Sigh.

I know, I know, you're probably wondering how any of this is encouraging? But I share all of that to just point out that real life happens, and when it does, it makes "giving thanks in all things" even more difficult. I almost didn't even blog this week because of it - which would be understandable. But blogging sometimes helps me process things, and I know giving thanks is what we as Christians can do, both in good and bad times.

With that said, here's the blog I started writing for this week...

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"Mama, I have big ears!" was the exclamation I heard the other day from my 4 yr. old.

MY 4YR OLD.

When I asked her who told her that, she just said, "oh, I just saw it myself."

Now, I have no clue what's going on inside my 4 yr. old's mind at any given time, but - just from her words - I can assure you she looked at other people's ears, looked at hers, and then came to a conclusion that she had big ones. Like a good, honest mama, I reassured her she didn't have big ears and that she was beautiful just the way she was. I also reminded her that God made her ears exactly the size they are, so that was His idea of beauty when He created her. And He knows better than we do what creativity and beauty truly is, doesn't He?

Y'all. I'm not sure at what age you were taught, figured out, or came to a faulty conclusion that you weren't "enough" in the looks department in any way, but I'm sure we've all had those kind of thoughts about some part of our bodies and at some point (or multiple points) in our lives. I once read that if you ask a woman - any given woman, on any given day - what she would change about her looks, she'd at least have 3 answers on the spot. When I read that, I thought that sounded silly. But then, I thought about the question for about 5 minutes... and you know what, I had 3 answers myself. Honest.
But really sad, right?

Why do we oftentimes feel the need to be discontent about our looks or compare ourselves to others?
I know we're taught from a very young age (or we conclude on our own at a very young age) that we don't measure up, but you know what? We can do a lot of different things with that information. We can stay discontent about it. We can compare ourselves to one another, and feel more or less about ourselves, based on our assessment of those surrounding us. We can spend inordinate amounts of time, money, and mental energy "fixing" all the things we want different about ourselves.
Or we can not.

While there's nothing necessarily wrong in-and-of-itself on spending money on nice clothes or makeup or haircuts or perfume or what-have-you, thankfully, we don't have to do any of those things in order to be rendered "beautiful" in God's sight.

I have an alternative. We can be content in who God made us to be. (It's not always easy, but it is oh-so-freeing.)

Psalm 139:14 says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." No matter what elusive beauty standard the culture throws at us, we can rest in this TRUTH that the God of the entire universe made us fearfully and wonderfully!
Fearfully and wonderfully, ladies.
Fearfully.
and
Wonderfully.

Today, we are going to thank God that His definition of beauty is deeper.
And here's what the Bible has to say about it:

I Peter 3:3-4 "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

I once did a Bible study by Elizabeth George on this verse, and she explained it like this:

"gentle" = "not causing disturbances"
"quiet" = "not reacting to the disturbances of others"

...or maybe my memory has those mixed up? Either way, you get the idea.
God is much, much more concerned with the inner person and matters of our hearts than He is our outward beauty. And you know what? We should align our thinking to God's, and not the culture's.

Though our culture sets us up for discontent and failure, we have victory in Christ. When God looks at us as His daughters, He sees Christ. Christ is our perfection. Christ is our beauty.

"Big ears" and all. ;-)
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If I can, I want to provide some perspective to this issue after having a week of difficult sickness invade my house. (Sickness has a way of doing that sometimes.)

Oftentimes, we as women can only see other women at a surface-level-glance. We tend to measure by measuring sticks of this world that God would call foolish. We see something in another person and think to ourselves that if we only had that or looked like that then we would be better off. To be straightforward about it: that's a lie that discontentment sells us. And we don't have to buy it.
When we look at others, we don't know their hearts and we don't know their entire story. We see what we think is a glamorous snapshot, but we don't have the backstage pass or know how that snapshot fits into the whole movie reel of their lives.

I like to think of it this way:
We may envy her shoes, but not the places she's had to walk in them.
So consider that next time you slip into the discontentment of comparison and longing to be "her."

More than that, today, we can thank God that His beauty far surpasses anything this world can come up with AND that that beauty is available to us in His Son Jesus Christ.

Bringing it super close to home, take your 3 things you'd change about yourself (mentioned above) and turn them around to a praise to God for His hand of craftsmanship in your life.

(Ex. instead of complaining about having big ears, thank the Lord you don't have an ear infection right now.... and thank Him for giving you two ears... two ears that can hear all sorts of beautiful things... you get the idea.)

Ladies, let's start thanking God for all He has given us, instead of spending mental energy dwelling on what we think He should've given us. Along with that, let's live in our true identity in Christ and bask in the beauty that is ours in Him.

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I know my thoughts were scattered on this post. I'm going to blame it on sickness & mommy brain. :-) In all seriousness, I've included some resources below that are good to look into for more on this topic. Comment in the section below if you have any other resources you'd recommend on this topic as well.


Resources:

-Beth Moore did a fantastic job at delving really deep into this topic in her book "So Long, Insecurity." I would encourage and challenge you to read that.

-Elizabeth George's 1 Peter Bible study

M.R.S. Degrees

So today's #ThessalonianThursday #ThankfulThursday goes out to our husbands. You know, the men who stole our hearts, changed our last names, made us mommies, sometimes make us mad, and at the end of the day, steady us as they lead us in Christ-likeness.

For some reason, this may be the most difficult blog I've written. Usually, I just write and post and that's it. But this topic has weighed heavily on my mind and heart, especially this week. I've found myself writing and rewriting this blog over and over again. Why? I'm not quite sure. I do know this: I have a lot to say, don't quite know how to say it, and my husband reads my blog. So no pressure or accountability for proving in real life what I'm typing on a screen or anything, right?!

With that said.... let's get started on being thankful for our husbands. Bear with me as I stumble along with this topic... let's start with this story:

So I attended Bible college here in town, and then I decided to finish out my education at a Christian university out-of-town. All that to say, it seems that no matter where you go, there's this weird obsession amongst Christian college-aged girls where marriage is like the only reason some of them are there. In fact, there's these phrases like "Get a ring by spring" that circulate amongst the girls. And (the personal favorite) super ineffective pick-up-line circulating amongst the guys, "Oh, what's your major? Are you here for your M.R.S. degree?" (Well, it doesn't circulate amongst the guys, but you know what I mean. I think.)

With all said, while marriage doesn't have to be a rushed-before-I-get-out-of-college deal, it is a big deal. Today, while we are thanking God for our husbands, let's also take a brief look at marriage.
Marriage was God's idea, sweet friends. If you remember, in an earlier blog, I mentioned how motherhood wasn't established within the perfection of the Garden of Eden. But marriage, my dear friend, WAS established within the perfection of the Garden of Eden. I point out that marriage was established before the Fall because marriage was within God's idea of a perfect set-up (not to be confused with a blind-date-set-up.. anybody?!... Unless you married your blind-date-set-up, then...well, you did that to yourself).

In the New Testament (specifically Ephesians 5:22-33), a beautiful picture of marriage is painted. We specifically learn here that marriage is a supposed to be between one man and one woman, and it is to be a picture of Christ and the church. Ephesians goes on to touch on things that make a marriage function as God intended it to function. Yes, we will fail at this. When we do fail, acknowledge it to God and accept God's grace. Acknowledge it to yourself and re-recognize the need of the Gospel in your life. every. single. day. And when necessary, humbly-ever-so-humbly admit it to your husband and accept his forgiveness.

All said, help me throw the tablecloth of 1950's-wifey-perfectionism off the table, and let's set the table with some mommy's-tired-and-we're-using-paper-plates practicality. (Why paper plates? Well, two-fold: one, paper plates are a very-daily thing to reset every day (just like the daily attention to the traits I'm about to mention below) & two, paper plates mean less real dishes to clean for you, mama (and who doesn't want that!?)). You can thank me later.

When it comes to being thankful for our husbands, here are some ways we can show it:
(Note: This is not a checklist of things to-do. Nor is it intended to produce guilt. The following are just simply ideas of how we can show our thankfulness to our husbands for letting us be allowed to be married to him (After all, he did ask you, and you did grant your permission.)

These are not ways to earn his affection or fix other pre-existing issues in our marriages. Think of them as simple tokens of appreciation to him for marrying you. Here we go....

1. We can tell God "thank you" for them everyday. We can also PRAY for them. We know their strengths and weaknesses better than anyone else.  And we know the God of the Universe. Let's use all that to our advantage. Let's commit to pray for our husbands. Bring his strengths and weaknesses and everything in between into the throne room of God. That will settle and accomplish a lot more than our ways of handling and controlling ever will.

2. We can simply TELL them "thank you." And be specific what you're thanking them for. Simple. as. that. Our words of encouragement to our husbands go a long way.

3. We can HONOR them. As Godly wives, I'm sure we love our husbands well (though not perfectly), but men oftentimes speak in terms of respect. Have you ever thought of telling your husband you love him, but exchange the word "love" for "respect"? For example, I would say,"Jeff, I really respect you." Though I highly respect my husband, I do find it a little awkward at times to say it instead of saying I love him. I almost feels like I'm speaking a different language - because I am. Respect is not a native language to a wife, but it is to a husband. So, speak it. Oh, and live it. How? Ask him what speaks respect to him the most & what speaks disrespect to him. Give him time to think about it and get back to you. And be prepared for his answer. And be willing to change some behavior patterns, if necessary.

4. Be CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY about your husband to others. I would be so audacious to say don't ever say anything poorly about your husband. ever. to anyone. It's never really fitting for any occasion, and I doubt it's administering grace to anyone (Eph. 4:29). Sometimes, it's best just to keep your mouth shut... that said...

5. We can LISTEN to them. They do know a thing or two. And they may even say it in only a sentence or two. But that's ok. Be quiet long enough to listen to them. Place value on the (sometimes few!) words they say.

6. We can SUBMIT to them. Entire books have been written on this topic, and many come back with super-mixed reviews and eye-rolls from here to Mississippi. So I'll just say this: Submission is in the Bible. It's hard, but it works. It works because God said so. He designed marriage and created us, so He would know best. In addition to all that, our kids learn how to treat daddy from how we treat daddy. So just think about that for a minute.

7. We can DEFER to them. Our husbands do things differently than we do. Our husbands see things differently than we do. We must come to a point where we understand that and are okay with it. Our kids need a daddy who's different from mommy. We need a man who's different from us. We don't have to control, oversee, or auto-correct everything they do. Let them do things their way. You've got enough kids to mother, don't add your husband into the mix. Step back from bossing/mom-ing him around, and step up to wife-ing (read: helping) your husband well.

8. Kind of in that same realm of thinking, we can HAVE FUN with them. Jeff and I watch baking shows and eat junk food after the kids (finally!) fall asleep at night. We also like to "play tennis" in the backyard. I say it that way because Jeff is actually playing tennis, while I have no clue what I'm doing and just whack the tennis ball as some sort of stress relief and watch him run fast to catch the ball so it doesn't fly over the fence into the neighbor's yard, again. So yeah, we have fun together.

9. We can BAKE. Just the smell of brownies baking in the oven improves the quality of your marriage. At least, that's been my experience.

10. Last on the list, and stereotypically first on their lists,
We can LOVE them.
Physically.
And passionately.
Amen.

Overall, we can JUST BE PLEASANT to be around. The exact meaning of the word "pleasant" is this: "giving a sense of happy satisfaction or enjoyment." Most likely, your husband married you (well, for a lot of reasons, I'm sure), but one of the big ones is that you made him happy. {Now, don't get me started on that topic exactly. Our marriages are not designed to "make us happy;" rather, they are a venue God uses to make us holy. (We can talk a bunch on that at a later time.)} As I was saying, your husband did not marry you because you made him sad or grumpy or miserable-to-be-around. He found something in you that delighted him, he loved to be around, and your sheer presence just genuinely made him happy. You brought him enjoyment. So keep doing a lot of that.

In a nutshell,
Of all the women in the whole, entire, huge, wide world, your husband CHOSE you.
YOU.
He didn't have to, but he did.
And everyday, he does.
And, if he is a man of his word, he will.
Everyday.
For the rest of his entire lifetime.

All through the ping-pong games of silent treatments and MOM-alogues (read: monologues by moms),
the angry outbursts and fits of laughter,
the PMS and all the hormonal cycles of unexplainable tears (who can really explain all those tears, ladies?! Sometimes, we don't even know.),
"in sickness and in health,"
 "for better or for worse,"
and until "death do us part."

There’s so much more I could say on this topic, but I’m currently sitting in carline to pick up my child from VPK. As I’m typing,  I realized the campus she goes to school at also has a Christian college on site.  Aaaaaand it’s almost springtime. Ahh! So much anticipation and desperation in the air around these parts, y’all.

All silliness aside, do you remember those times when you were oh-so-single and just longed for a man to call your own?
Thank God for giving a man to you.
Thank God for giving your specific man to you.
Thank your man for giving you your M.R.S. degree.
And while you're at it, thank him for just being him. (And not being the guy with the lame pickup lines in college.... or wait, was that also him?)