People Pleasing Gone Wild
It's true. Most of the time, I'm what you might label a "people pleaser." I like people to be happy with me, and I struggle when people aren't.
Looking back over my life (all 26 years of it), I've noticed that some key decisions I've made were to please people that were instrumental in my life at that time, while other decisions I've made have been based on what I thought the right thing to do was. Because of that, I ended up having to live through various interpersonal issues that arose as a result of people being not being splendidly happy with me. (Not exactly a walk in the park with a snow cone on the fourth of July.)
Recently and not-so-recently over the last three years or so, I have wrestled with the idea to move back to Jacksonville or to stay in Lynchburg and teach. The last couple of years, my mind was pre-occupied with this minor hobby of mine called GRAD SCHOOL. But this year, now that grad school is done, that decision has been magnified in my heart and mind. I've felt like I've had no "unbiased" person to talk to concerning the situation. Naturally, my Lynchburg friends and coworkers want me to stay here. Even more so naturally, my family and friends in Jacksonville want me to move back home. Needless to say, I've sincerely struggled this year. I've prayed. I've cried. And honestly, I've lived a large portion of my school year this year confused.
However, last night, I picked up a book that I've been reading for the last couple of months on contentment, a condition of the heart. In the back of this book, there is a 30-day devotional to help readers apply what they've read throughout the book to their everyday lives. (Pause. Here's a side note to my Daddy: Dad, if you're reading this, I think that would be a great idea for your next book on Redemption…. or for my first book. :) ) In that book, I read the verse for Day 21, which is this I Corinthians 14:33, "God is not a God of confusion but of peace."
And it went on to say this:
"When the situation is wrong and you are wrong, God says NO.
When the situation is right and you are wrong, God says GROW.
When the situation is wrong and you are right, God says SLOW.
When the situation is right and you are right, God says GO."
It also went on to say things that I already readily know with my mind, but oftentimes fail to recognize with my heart….. and that's this thought: God longs to give us peace. He loves us so much that He longs to give us good things. However, in order to have open hands to receive what God wants to give us, we must let go of the things that entangle our hearts, confuse or minds, and ultimately control our future. For me, that's people pleasing.
It's taken me nearly 27 years to do this, but I've finally come to the conclusion that I can't possibly please everyone. As long as I try to, I will be in a constant state of confusion and unrest. At the end of my life, I'm only going to stand before an audience of One. His thoughts towards me are what matters most. His thoughts towards me are, really, the only ones that end up mattering.
With all said, I ask that you pray for me this week, as I will be making some difficult decisions and truly striving to please God, and God alone, in all I do.
IF
ReplyDeleteYou are living in the state of confusion
AND
God is not a God of confusion
Then
You are living in the wrong state (take that however you want :) )
To please God requires faith
Hebrew 11:6 "And without faith it is impossible to please Him,
for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him."
So what is faith?
Hebrew 11:1 "Now faith is the assurance of thing hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
Did you notice how I had to go backward with the scripture first verse 6 then verse 1?
dias gnieb saw tahw dnatsrednu yleurt ot drawkcab sgniht daer ot evah uoy sgnihtemos
So where does faith come from?
Romans 10:17 "So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ."
I said all of this to say all you really need is wisdom.
How do you get wisdom?
James 1:5-8 "But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and
without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for
the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that man ought
not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, 8 being a double-minded man, unstable in
all his ways."