Out
of my life’s story…
As
some of you may already know, Jeff and I have recently been looking for houses
to buy here in Lynchburg. We go through phases of daily searching, searching, searching
Zillow and the local MLS; email-conversing on and off with a local realtor;
attending open houses (ok, so we went to one already…hah); and spending many,
many, many a Saturday mornings and/or afternoons going on scouting adventures
and participating in our own concoction of neighborhood-watch parties (a.k.a.
driving around-and-around the neighborhood to see if it “feels safe” to one day
live there… We’ve actually gotten fairly good at reading each other’s queues on
this one. We’ve done this so often that we’ve gotten to the point where no
words need to be said to one another. Just one look, or one quick lock of the
car doors, signals that we most likely will not be buying in that particular
neighborhood.)
With
all said, we truly go back and forth on this idea of buying a house. On some
days, we do all of the aforementioned activities (reasoning that our family is
quickly outgrowing our 2 bedroom apartment), and we are hopeful that something
– not just anything, but that one special place – will show up for us. On other
days, we look around our quaint-little-apartment place, compare it with all the
places we don’t want to live, creatively look for ways to “make it work” where
we are, and resolve to be content.
On
many occasions, Jeff and I have stopped ourselves in the midst of the process
and asked ourselves some deep-down-honest questions. What exactly do we want to
buy a house for? As we explore this question in conversation together, we
always default to this: we so want to
use our God-given resources for God-glorifying ministry. With that as our foundation, we go on to discuss out and
dream up all the possibilities of what that may look like on a practical scale.
Buy a townhouse to rent at a discounted rate to seminary students or a
ministry-minded young family, should we ever leave the Lynchburg area? Buy a
house with a big, open floor plan and use the extra space to be a blessing of
hospitality to those we know and to invite over some extras that we have yet to
get-to-know. ? Buy a house with extra bedroom/bathroom and invite a missionary
family on leave to come stay/live with us for a certain period of time? (I’m
sure the time we spend together would be a mutual give-and-take blessing.) As
you can see, the possibilities are truly endless.
One
day, I made a remark – something along the lines of waiting to get a new house
in order to be hospitable – and my sweet man corrected me on that line of
thought. He gently reminded me that we don’t need a house to be faithful in the
area of hospitality or personal ministry and that we should be careful to be
faithful in those areas right now, right here, in our little ole’ apartment.
When
my husband made those comments to me, I doubt he intended them to be profound.
I think he was just making an honest observation and sharing his heart with me
on the matter. But after taking in his line of reasoning, I began to think more
and more about it…
No
matter the geographical location or amount of space Jeff and I have to call our
“house,” I soon realized that a “house” is simply a tool. A venue. A set of
materials that God provides for a certain time/place/space in our lives for us
to use to minister to others. Quite different and yet deeper still, our “home”
is the environment, the culture, the pace/tone we set of loving and accepting
others God places into our path – and that, my friend, can truly be anywhere,
if we are open and ready to see and seize the opportunities that lie all around
us (and oftentimes, right in front of our very eyes!).
In
essence, through the process of house-hunting, I’m not only getting exposed to
certain places of town that no one should live in (ever), but I’m also learning
valuable lessons about contentment and starting/cultivating a ministry of
hospitality exactly where I am. And exactly right now. (Ok, so who wants to
come over at 6 for dinner tonight?)
Most
of all, I’m learning that a townhouse. A house. Our apartment. Any structure
that houses an able and willing heart will do. For it’s not the structure, but
the contents of the structure that matters. Namely, the character and
compassion of its residents that matter the most.
Out
of my life’s story… and into yours.
With all said, let me bring some practical application into all the madness-that-is-my-long-narrative-storytelling:
Not
long after that conversation with Jeff, I read an article from a Christian
magazine on home décor that confirmed that what he was telling me was
oh-so-true. One phrase in the entire article particularly jumped out at me. It
read, “Does your home bless or just impress?” (source: SetApartGirl magazine)
{Note: the use of the word
“home” versus “house,”
see above for more details
concerning the difference
between the two :) }
Some
back-story to-explain-the-point: When I used to tutor first graders in reading
and then went on to teach fourth graders for six years, I remember sometimes
introducing new words in groups or in what we would call “families.” So, in due
fashion, let me introduce three words (concerning hospitality) in a word “family”
to you. They are as follows:
-Blessing
-Stressing
-Impressing
Not
only do these three words have similar endings, but they’re also grouped in a
word “family” together because much like a family, these three words often
travel together.
To
explain, let me ask you this: When you’re getting ready to host a big social
event in your home, or you’re even just preparing to have a handful of
guests/friends in your home, which of these three words strikes you the most?
Do
you automatically see the opportunity as a
blessing to minister to those people God has placed in your life?
Do
you automatically start stressing
at the idea/thought of all the work to get done around the house, the amount of
cleaning and preparing required, the extent/style/beauty of décor around the
house, the temperature/smell/lighting/ambiance, the quality of the home-cooked
meal you’re slaving over, the quantity of conversations-to-be-had, etc? (Can
you tell how my mind races, traces, and retraces over these kinds of thoughts
as well?)
Do
you automatically kick into impressing mode, pulling out all the cloth
napkins, finest china, etc.? (Ok, maybe that’s not your style and that’s okay,
but let me ask you this: Do you prepare more for guests, so that they feel more
special and welcomed in your home than your family does on a regular basis?
Let. That. One. Sink. In. For just a moment.)
{No
one needs me or anyone else to tell them this, but we all sometimes need that
gentle reminder that hospitality-of-the-heart should start in our homes with
those that frequent it the most often (a.k.a. our families). Anything we do for
our guests should be a simple extension of that, not a replacement for or a
one-upper of that. If you’re anything like me, we have some work to do in this
area.}
With
all said, take some inventory of where you stand on this issue, where you could
change, and how your improvement in this area could be most pleasing to the
Lord while simultaneously being the biggest blessing to those relationships and friendships that God
has graciously entrusted into your life, friendship, and care.
An
older, wiser friend of mine once shared a quote with me that went something
like this: “If you came to see my house, make an appointment. If you came to
see me, come right on in!” And that, in my mind, pretty much encapsulates it
all. Take the stressing and impressing right out of the idea of hospitality,
and what are you left with? Blessing. Exactly what God intended it to be all
along. No matter what kind of house you live in, start today by cultivating a
home that longs to bless others in the same fashion God has so richly blessed
you and yours.
If
you’ve made it to the end of reading this incredibly long blog and want to challenge me in this
area, invite yourself over to dinner one night soon. I pray our time together
will be a mutual blessing for all involved. :) And don't worry, I'll be sure to return the favor and opportunity to growth for you as well. ;)
