Have you ever sat back and wondered, why is it called 'motherhood'?
When I think of the word 'motherhood,' the only other word that readily comes to the top of my mind is 'neighborhood.' So what it is? Simply put, a neighborhood is a collection of neighbors all together. (Unless it's a neighborhood where the people are not-so-neighborly, then it's just more affectionately referred to as the 'hood. If you ever find yourself there, I have some advice: Proceed (ever-so-swiftly) with caution, girl.) I digress.
If a neighborhood is simply a collection of neighbors, then why isn't motherhood a collection of mothers all together? And if it is supposed to be a collection of mothers all together, then why does it feel less neighborly than we possibly hoped or imagined, and it feels more like trying to survive a day in the 'hood? (Be serious. You know it sometimes does feel that way.)
And all of this non-neighborly motherhood business starts day one of our motherhood, if not sooner. (more on comparison games, jealousy, and the grace of God in other blog(s) to come...)
In the 'hood, everyone has to fend for themselves (or so I'm told). There's a lot of ways fear is dressed up in strength, and all forms of brokenness are consumed as a way to survive. every. single. day. Doesn't this sound a lot like our current state of motherhood to you? There's a lot of different ways our fears are dressed up in strengths, and we'll consume just about anything in sight just as a way to survive. "Hey, hands off my mommy chocolate!" (<-- for all you fellow pantry-snack-food-hiders this topic will definitely be addressed in a later blog, just FYI)
All rabbit trails aside...
Today, we are going to thank God for the idea of motherhood. After all, it was His idea. And you know what? The first time motherhood was mentioned in the Bible, it was located in the 'hood so-to-speak. What I mean by that is this: Motherhood was not instituted until after the fall. So, when it was God's perfect design in the garden, motherhood was not a thing. When Adam and Eve were kicked out of God's perfect (albeit: gated) community, motherhood kicked in. Motherhood was instituted in the midst of some serious brokenness, y'all. So that pretty much explains everything about the struggle of motherhood you're facing today. (I say that in jest, but also in all truth.)
Motherhood was not instituted until after the fall and after Adam and Eve had to leave the perfection of the Garden of Eden. Why is this important to note for us today? Because perfection-motherhood was never God's design. Oftentimes, motherhood feels more like the 'hood and less neighborly because we have this conglomeration of weird mom-ideals and unwritten codes and algorithms of what perfect motherhood looks like. And we strive for it, oh boy, we strive for it. Daily. Oh, and we've got the corner market on it. And we've got it altogether. Except we don't. But we pretend we do, at times. I know I do - especially in the presence of other moms, sometimes. And if other moms don't dress up their fears-as-strengths and hidden insecurities in the same way we do, then judgement enters, property lines are drawn, and privacy fences get erected in all the places BBQs should be happening.
In all seriousness, we strive so hard for mommy perfection to the extinction of accepting loving support from others and to the extinguishing of God's ideal for motherhood. In my quick observation, motherhood was intended to show us ourselves in our children, to show us their need for grace, to show us OUR need for grace, to show us more of Who God is & what a good, good, good, loving, patient, Heavenly Father He is to us. We need Him, more of Him every day. We need to admit that to God. We need to admit that to ourselves. And we need to humbly admit that to other moms-in-the-trenches-eating-snickers-in-secret-places.
As I type this, I'm sitting at my dining room table staring at a picture on my wall. It reads: "Live by grace, not perfection." Wouldn't you know I almost didn't buy that sign at the store because it had a crack on it? But it was the only one left, so I settled because it said what I wanted it to say, no matter what it looked it. (That, and the irony was so very thick. I guess you could say I gave the sign some grace that day in the buying of it.) Also, it's hanging slightly crooked on my wall right now, so that'll probably be in the back of my mind for the rest of this blog-typing. But I say all that to say this:
We don't need to be perfect.
We can't be.
We don't need to be perfect moms.
We can't be.
We need Jesus. And thankfully, He can be and is our perfection.
Also, to a far lesser degree (but still worthy of note), we need each other in this thing called motherhood.
Today, take inventory of your heart.
Where are you "neighborly" (love your neighbor as yourself) to other moms?
And where are you not?
Ask God to invade all of those places.
Take your picture-perfect-ideal of motherhood off the wall of self-achievements (it's probably hanging crookedly anyway).
Thank God for His perfection,
for the fact that perfection-motherhood is not a thing created by Him or attainable by us,
for the fact that He uses motherhood as an act of grace to us,
and for the fact that we can extend grace to other moms because of the grace He's so richly and lavishly given to us.
And, for goodness' sake, y'all, get each other's backs in the 'hood (of motherhood).
When I think of the word 'motherhood,' the only other word that readily comes to the top of my mind is 'neighborhood.' So what it is? Simply put, a neighborhood is a collection of neighbors all together. (Unless it's a neighborhood where the people are not-so-neighborly, then it's just more affectionately referred to as the 'hood. If you ever find yourself there, I have some advice: Proceed (ever-so-swiftly) with caution, girl.) I digress.
If a neighborhood is simply a collection of neighbors, then why isn't motherhood a collection of mothers all together? And if it is supposed to be a collection of mothers all together, then why does it feel less neighborly than we possibly hoped or imagined, and it feels more like trying to survive a day in the 'hood? (Be serious. You know it sometimes does feel that way.)
And all of this non-neighborly motherhood business starts day one of our motherhood, if not sooner. (more on comparison games, jealousy, and the grace of God in other blog(s) to come...)
In the 'hood, everyone has to fend for themselves (or so I'm told). There's a lot of ways fear is dressed up in strength, and all forms of brokenness are consumed as a way to survive. every. single. day. Doesn't this sound a lot like our current state of motherhood to you? There's a lot of different ways our fears are dressed up in strengths, and we'll consume just about anything in sight just as a way to survive. "Hey, hands off my mommy chocolate!" (<-- for all you fellow pantry-snack-food-hiders this topic will definitely be addressed in a later blog, just FYI)
All rabbit trails aside...
Today, we are going to thank God for the idea of motherhood. After all, it was His idea. And you know what? The first time motherhood was mentioned in the Bible, it was located in the 'hood so-to-speak. What I mean by that is this: Motherhood was not instituted until after the fall. So, when it was God's perfect design in the garden, motherhood was not a thing. When Adam and Eve were kicked out of God's perfect (albeit: gated) community, motherhood kicked in. Motherhood was instituted in the midst of some serious brokenness, y'all. So that pretty much explains everything about the struggle of motherhood you're facing today. (I say that in jest, but also in all truth.)
Motherhood was not instituted until after the fall and after Adam and Eve had to leave the perfection of the Garden of Eden. Why is this important to note for us today? Because perfection-motherhood was never God's design. Oftentimes, motherhood feels more like the 'hood and less neighborly because we have this conglomeration of weird mom-ideals and unwritten codes and algorithms of what perfect motherhood looks like. And we strive for it, oh boy, we strive for it. Daily. Oh, and we've got the corner market on it. And we've got it altogether. Except we don't. But we pretend we do, at times. I know I do - especially in the presence of other moms, sometimes. And if other moms don't dress up their fears-as-strengths and hidden insecurities in the same way we do, then judgement enters, property lines are drawn, and privacy fences get erected in all the places BBQs should be happening.
In all seriousness, we strive so hard for mommy perfection to the extinction of accepting loving support from others and to the extinguishing of God's ideal for motherhood. In my quick observation, motherhood was intended to show us ourselves in our children, to show us their need for grace, to show us OUR need for grace, to show us more of Who God is & what a good, good, good, loving, patient, Heavenly Father He is to us. We need Him, more of Him every day. We need to admit that to God. We need to admit that to ourselves. And we need to humbly admit that to other moms-in-the-trenches-eating-snickers-in-secret-places.
As I type this, I'm sitting at my dining room table staring at a picture on my wall. It reads: "Live by grace, not perfection." Wouldn't you know I almost didn't buy that sign at the store because it had a crack on it? But it was the only one left, so I settled because it said what I wanted it to say, no matter what it looked it. (That, and the irony was so very thick. I guess you could say I gave the sign some grace that day in the buying of it.) Also, it's hanging slightly crooked on my wall right now, so that'll probably be in the back of my mind for the rest of this blog-typing. But I say all that to say this:
We don't need to be perfect.
We can't be.
We don't need to be perfect moms.
We can't be.
We need Jesus. And thankfully, He can be and is our perfection.
Also, to a far lesser degree (but still worthy of note), we need each other in this thing called motherhood.
Today, take inventory of your heart.
Where are you "neighborly" (love your neighbor as yourself) to other moms?
And where are you not?
Ask God to invade all of those places.
Take your picture-perfect-ideal of motherhood off the wall of self-achievements (it's probably hanging crookedly anyway).
Thank God for His perfection,
for the fact that perfection-motherhood is not a thing created by Him or attainable by us,
for the fact that He uses motherhood as an act of grace to us,
and for the fact that we can extend grace to other moms because of the grace He's so richly and lavishly given to us.
And, for goodness' sake, y'all, get each other's backs in the 'hood (of motherhood).
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