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The "Problem" of Children's Ministry in the Church

So, I grew up in church and have been a member of several since my adult years. Every church has it's own strengths, energy, weaknesses, flair, and problems. But it seems to me that no matter where I have attended church over the years (in more than one church and more than one state, mind you), children's ministry has always been "a problem."

"Getting enough people to serve in the children's ministry has always been a problem."

It's very true, but why?

It's not because children are being children. It's because adults are being adults.

As Americans, we're so addicted to our own comfort that we don't even blink an eye at it. Not true? Ok, then prove it by serving in the children's ministry this week. Change a few diapers. Wipe a few noses. Teach the kids about Jesus. and then go home and take a nap 'til Monday. And next week, do it all over again. 

Children's ministry isn't something you have to feel especially called to do. It's living the Great Commission. Changing diapers isn't one of the spiritual gifts. It's servant-leadership.

I'm curious: What if we slotted our adult preaching schedules the way we did our nursery/preschool/children's ministries?

"We need someone to preach for such-and-such hour."

"We need someone to preach for such-and-such hour."

"We need someone to preach for such-and-such hour."

(last possible second) "I know! Aunt Beryl can do it!"

...Aunt Beryl, trooper that she is, enters the scene solo and saves the day for all 75 congregants present that day. No plan. You're just thankful she's there on time. Sort of. And then, she just stares at the audience. for an hour and a half on a Sunday morning. as you talk amongst yourselves. no worries, at some point, she'll probably offer you some snacks.

Who would have a problem with that? Well, first of all, Baptists. Not because of the snacks thing (Aunt Beryl probably has some pretty sweet recipes up her sleeve), but because a woman shouldn't be preaching. I get that. But past that, probably everyone else in the room would have an issue with it. Why? well, because that's not how you do "church" or effective ministry. 

But that's how we do children's ministry. And that's how we've been doing children's ministry, at multiple churches, from yesteryear until kingdom come. I've come to the conclusion that almost everyone outside of children's ministry is either obliviously okay with it or not-so-oblivious but still just okay with it. Under the guises of, "yeah, it was like that when my children were coming through," or "I already did my time in children's ministry," or "you made 'em, you watch 'em!" (I've heard that last one from the pulpit multiple times).... Those inside children's ministry are EXHAUSTED. Not because we haven't prayed enough. and not because we're working in our own strength. But because God hasn't designed a few adults to take care of a church of children. every week.

You know how I know this to be true? Look at the way God designed the family. He designed one man and one woman to be joined in marriage and have children. So, for a good majority of births to married moms, there's a 2:1 ratio for adults to children. Why? One child needs the care of two adults. for a lifetime. Yes, in our broken world, it's more of an ideal situation instead of the norm. But the truth of the matter is still the truth. That's the way God designed it to be.

Also, this. We don't give birth in herds. We don't give birth in litters. Yes, we have the occasional massive-amount-of-kids-birthed-at-one-time thing happening, but we as humans mostly give births in one's or two's. God designed us this way for good reason. He knows our limits. He made us that way.

If we believe the statistics we look at, 85% of people come to faith before the age of 18.

Why do we have to beg people to share the Gospel with the mission field within our own church walls? Do we even believe what we say we believe? Why do I even have to be asking this question?

If "children's ministry has aways been an issue," how come no one is bringing a viable solution? FOR DECADES. We're settled that it's an issue and will always be an issue. What other part of our lives operates like that? 

You're sick? You go to a doctor. 

Your AC went out in a Florida summer? You call an AC man.

You get the idea. We all act immediately on what will make us feel better and feel comfortable.

So why are we settled with children's ministry always being an issue? Because it makes us uncomfortable to do anything about it. So we just continuously pass the baton-of-platitudes to the next generation...

...And then we scratch our heads wondering why our kids are leaving churches as soon as they're old enough to do so, and wonder what went wrong with them. 

"They were raised in church." "They weren't raised the way they're living."

Have we considered that maybe they weren't loved well within the walls of the church growing up?

Kid may be naive in some ways, but they're still born with a brain and two ears. Many of them are vastly smarter and far more keenly aware of EVERYTHING than we give them credit for. Kids can read adults. They get it if you truly care for them and care about discipling them or not. They know when they're prized, and they know when they're a burden. 

I've said a lot, and if you're still reading, you're getting to the good part. The part that matters. The part where Jesus says what's necessary about children.

He tells us to have faith like a child. He tells adults to be like kids, not the other way around.

He tells His disciples not to hinder the children from coming to Him. 

He tells His disciples that the kingdom of God belongs to children.

He also says that people will know that we are His disciples by how we love one another. I think that it's fair to include how well we love our children in the mix as well.

All of my soapboxing and tiredness to the side, Jesus cares about children. If we are His ambassadors, we must care for them as well. Caring for children is not a spectator sport or a passive pursuit. It's active. It requires work. And it must be done now.

Our children aren't the church of tomorrow. If we keep phrasing it like that, there won't be a functioning church tomorrow. Our children are the church of today, people. And every Sunday, we're given the privilege of passing on our faith to them. And I just don't get why more people aren't running to take hold of this opportunity?

Oh, and if your name is Aunt Beryl, it's not your fault. And thank you! A million times over. No, we won't require you to preach (if you stay in the Baptist circles), but keep your phone on, because we'll probably be calling you about this upcoming Sunday. 





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