Mommy, why.
Why?
Why??
Why?!?!?!!?!?!?!?
Why, why, why, why, why...
As any mom (or dad) soon recognizes, the question "Why?" is an ever-present and ever-pressing question often posed over-and-over-and-over-and-over again by our young kids. (Anyone else, or is it just my kids? lol.) The problem with the question "Why?" (other than the fact that it comes at an annoyingly strong pace sometimes) is that we often think we outgrow it. More than just a rather effective annoyance tactic from toddler to parent, the question "Why?" has power if we afford to give it the space, silence, solitude, and time to work as it should.
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I believe God has so knit each one of us together, so that we all each have strengths and weaknesses. We use our God-given strengths to serve and encourage others, and we use our God-knitted-together weaknesses to be lifted up and served by others. (Note: Weaknesses are not the same thing as personal proclivities to sin, as we'll discuss that more later.)
That said, one of the strengths I believe God has granted me is the gift of discernment. What is discernment exactly? By definition, discernment is "the ability to judge well" or "the ability to distinguish (someone or something) with difficulty by sight or with the other senses; to perceive or recognize (something)."
Ever since I was a teenager and walking with the Lord, I would pray on-the-regular for wisdom and discernment. I believe He granted me those requests. Now, let me caveat that with this: I don't always hit the mark. Sometimes, I miss the mark. Sometimes, I overanalyze. Sometimes, I misread. Sometimes, I get anxious. Some of those things are due to human error. Some of them are due to my default personality. Some of them are just straight not from God.
But when I do get it right, when I do discern a person, situation, etc. correctly, I know it's because of the Holy Spirit living inside of me. And really, no other reason at all. It's His strength at work in me.
If you would like to become a more wise, discerning person, here are some steps that have helped me and I hope will also help you:
#1. Pray for wisdom and discernment.
The Bible tells us in the book of James chapter 1 verse 5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."
The Bible also lists discernment as a gift of His Holy Spirit in 1 Corinthians 12:7-11, "To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills."
If you are a child of God, He hears your prayers. He tells us to ask Him for wisdom when we lack it. He gives this generously to all who ask. He also sends discernment as a manifestation of His Holy Spirit to some for the common good. Pray and ask God for wisdom and discernment.
#2. Read the Bible to get to know the God of the Bible.
If your personality is anything like mine, you'll do the Bible reading in a year. You'll start out right. And then you'll end up all wrong because you're doing it just to check off all the boxes before the end of the year. Or you'll do all the Bible studies and fill in all the blanks of "homework" just to have something to show for your time with the Lord. Believe me, these things aren't wrong as a start, but they can become a sloppy finish. I would dare to contend that your time with the Lord will show out in your character, your reactions, and your word-responses more than any checklist will ever show.
If your personality is anything like mine or even if it isn't, resolve to read the Bible to get to know the God of the Bible. Learn His names. His attributes. The ways in which He works and moves and relates with His people. Get to know His voice. Know the God of the Bible by reading the Bible.
#3. Surround yourself with discerning people.
Whether that's in person or a combination of in-person and through reading about the lives of discerning people who have gone before us, surround yourself with discerning people.
I'm currently going through Marty Machowski's Wise Up! devotion with my girls in our homeschool Bible lesson times. It focuses on the book of Proverbs. Proverbs has so very much to say about foolish and wise people. It is straightforward in what wise people treasure and build their lives around and what foolish people are tripped up by. Study Proverbs. Surround yourself with wise, discerning people in modern-day. Learn/read about wise, discerning people of times gone by.
#4. Ask really good questions (of yourself and others).
I've found that asking yourself "Why?" questions is a good place to begin. It can really be as simple as this:
Why do I WANT to do this thing?
Why do I NOT WANT to do this thing?
Why WOULD I do this thing?
Why WOULD I NOT do this thing?
This line of questioning cuts out what others will think or you, say of you, or expect of you, and it gets straight to the heart (read: motives). This process of questioning helps to show our true selves and helps us process if our motives are selfish, sinful, sideways, or sanctified. (With all that alliteration going on, I feel a Baptist sermon coming on...lol.)
So with that, I'll leave you alone to think and process. Until next time, pray for wisdom from the Lord. He will give it generously! And to discern what is best in any given situation, try considering the "Why?" questioning method listed above.
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