Put Down the Pen #MyJesusTestimony

Put Down the Pen #MyJesusTestimony

If you’ve known me for any length of time, you know that I’ve always wanted write a book. But I never was able to nail down a topic for my book, so I just simply haven’t written a book. I blog. Mostly to myself (and a handful of others), and I think my dad follows me occasionally as well. :-)

If you’re looking for a topic to write a book on, be. very. careful. You may just live through the horrors that one day may become the topic of your book.

Let me explain:

You see, this is the time of year - every year - where I reflect on the goodness of the Lord in the midst of one of the most terrible times in my life. Six years ago, around this time of year, I gave birth to my second daughter, Hope.

Here is the story of “The Birth of Hope” in a nutshell:

And then Hope was born. Hope Elizabeth. February 25, 2017. When she was born, all 95 percentile of her filled in a portion of my heart that I never knew was vacant. As most would agree, the birth of a baby tends to change everything. And for me, everything did change. And not just at the time of birth. Roughly five months after her birth, everything for me began to change again. 

At the end of July in 2017, I experienced an mental “episode” that landed me in a mental ward at a hospital in Jacksonville, Florida. 

& the abridged timeline went something like this:

Year 2017 

-Post-partum psychosis. (occurs in roughly 1 or 2 births out of 1,000)

-First hospitalization.

-Hypothyroidism = thyroid off the charts… on a scale of 0.4-4.0, I had a 79….(I always have been an overachiever ;-) )

-2 medications.

-Second hospitalization.

-Post-partum depression.

-7 medications.

-Gained 40 pounds due to medication side effects.

-Psychiatrist visit where he subscribed “getting your nail done” as the solution to it all.

-Christian Counseling.

-Prolactin level  = 293, and climbing up into the 400s.

-MRI show possible tumor (prolactinoma) on pituitary gland.

-Get new psychiatrist

Year 2018

-New psychiatrist weans me off of all 7 medications, except thyroid medication & one antidepressant.

-Possible brain surgery (?)

-Swift second opinion doesn’t see a tumor anywhere on my brain.

-Daily nausea/vomitting for a month upon going off of medications. (uncomfortable for sure, but helped shed all that extra weight)

-Endoscopy. 

-Gastritis.

-Colonscopy.

-I became a case study for a national women’s conference on women’s health. (See, told you I know how to overachieve. ;) )

Year 2022

-Met with an endocrinologist for the first time to discuss vast vitamin deficiencies and how VITALLY important this piece of the puzzle was/is. (Not sure why this wasn’t mentioned by anyone else much earlier in my life.)

-Endocrinologist weaning me off of antidepressant and placing me on prescription vitamins

Nearly 6 years later, I’m stable and healthy. I no longer have any symptoms of depression. At all. After that season of rollercoasters, several valleys, and a complete lack of mountains, I can say that life is back to "normal." In a nutshell, I see it that God has basically given me my life and my enjoyment of my life back. As of this upcoming April 2023, I will be weaning off of the remainder of my antidepressant and will only be on medication for hypothyroidism (oh, and vitamins!). Praise the Lord! Just another testament to His goodness and healing hand in my life!

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I know after processing this and organizing this into a piece of writing, I look back find it all a bit strange. I literally can not believe all that’s happened to me. It’s almost like I’m writing the script to the story of someone else’s life.  Instead of wishing it all away, I choose to take a step back, realize that IT IS truly MY story, and put down the pen because I recognize that I’m not the Author of this one. I’m not even the main character. More like a supporting character waaaaay back in the background. A single person who has maybe come to this point "for such a time as this." A small pebble dropped into water whose ripple effects have no end in sight. One story told boldly and shared freely for the thousands, maybe millions, that need to be told boldly and shared freely as well.  

So here, I think, is where I should end. The abridged version of my story has now been told. Hopefully, by sharing my story, others will find boldness to do the same. And story by story, the paradigm will shift. And that, my dear friend, is the birth of hope. :-)

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1 Peter 4:19

¹⁹ So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.