Dollar Stores, Deals, and a Deeper Understanding of Resiliency

Dollar Stores, Deals, and a Deeper Understanding of Resiliency

Today, I went into the dollar store to pick up some toys for my kids' treasure box at school.

And the sights I saw are probably much of the same you experience when you visit the dollar store.

Let's see if our lists can compare:

Half-homeless-looking man sitting shirtless out front? Check.

Stressed-out mom with a handful of barefooted kids screaming at the top of their little lungs for lollipops that she simply can't afford? Check.

Store clerk who looks like they've never given a smile in their lives and (if they were to receive one) absolutely wouldn't know what to do with one? Check.

As you can see, all of the regularities about a dollar store experience were ever-present  for me today.

Though today's dollar store experience was much the same as ones before it, it was also quite different.

Today, as I walked down the toy aisle, I began to understand a part about life that I'd never quite gotten a grasp on before.

As you can well imagine, the dollar store's toy selection is by no means a Toy-R-Us. It's not even a Walmart or a Target. I mean, it's the dollar store for crying out loud. Needless to say, the aisle of toys didn't extend indefinitely. It actually was all thrown together onto one short aisle.

One side of the toy aisle was dark, creepy, semi-scary and contained weapons, ninjas, action figures, and various other war-related items. It was outlined in the color of trees-dirt-and-grass cameo. And sent out the strong-yet-true message: Little boys are tough. They're wired for action, chasing, fighting, conquering, and leading.

The other side of the aisle, thankfully, told a whole different story. Dainty baby dolls, precious princess jewels, and glitter covered the shelves. Every container displayed some shade of cotton-candy-pink. And though its very presence did a nice job of balancing out the scariness of the other side of the aisle, it too conveyed a message: Little girls are fragile. They're wired for care taking, mending, and fixing, and making things appear pretty.

But not only do the differences between boys and girls come out in toy aisle displays, they come out in very real situations and circumstances of life and various matters of the heart as well.

While on any given day, the boy side of the aisle gives off a "danger: war zone" type feel and the girl's side is all a bed of roses, interesting isn't it that much the opposite is true when heartache hits home.

When girls hurt, they act in such a way that makes them appear seven shades of crazy because they're trying to show they're wired for action, chasing, fighting, conquering, and leading (when really they're not). They put up a "danger: do not enter war zone" type feel with the emotions they display. Truly, beneath the surface, it's really just a deep cry of their delicacy that's been trampled on...

When boys hurt, they put up a front, dress everything up in glitter, bows, and cotton-candy-pink so-to-speak. They act in such a way that they're seemingly wired for mending, fixing, and making things appear pretty (when really they're not). Beneath the surface, it's really just a deep cry of their need to lead/conquer that's been compromised…

Beneath the surface, all people hurt at one given time or another. That's the same for all of us. The difference, however, is not in the hurts we have but in how we handle our hurts.

All of those scattered thoughts from my trip to the dollar store today led me to this question: What makes some people so resilient to the heartaches in life and others so breakable?

In other words, if people are like rubber bands, what causes some of them to stretch and stretch and stretch and keep on going no matter what shape they're in, while others get slightly (or severely) bent out of shape and come apart as a result of it?

Here's some possibilities I thought of:

Is it simply a person's gender that makes all the difference?

Is it gender-conditioning that makes a difference? (The whole "girls can cry, boys must be tough" philosophy.)

Is it in the way they were raised?

Is it in the home environment and home training (or lack of) they were given?

Is it a special genetic pre-disposition to resiliency that some families have and others aren't lucky enough to be born with?

Is it connected with the sheer make-up of one's disposition and personality?

Is it in the magnitude and deepness of hurts a person's encountered?

Is it in the number of hurts they've encountered?

Granted, I do think all of those factors do play a role in the grand scheme of things.

But i tend to think it goes deeper still than that.

I think the way people handle their hurts is a direct correlation to their relationship with God.

It shows if you trust HIm.

It shows if you trust His timing.

It shows if you trust His faithfulness.

It shows if you trust His promises.

It shows if you trust His heart.

Amongst, others.

So, today, if you're hurting, know someone who's hurting, just getting over a hurt, or just getting-your-feet-wet into one, know this much is true.

God sees beneath the surface display of what you convey to others.

He knows all about your gender, conditioning, rearing, home environment, genetic make-up, personality, past hurts, present discouragements, and future disappointments.

He wired you exactly how you should be wired.

He crafts your life situations and the timing of your life's situations exactly how they should be crafted.

In the midst of whatever you may be facing today, His hand is outstretched to you longing for you to see you're not in this alone.

He sees you.  

He's always with you. 

He longs for you to trust him more.